So,
I have never used this blog to talk about my romantic relationship. I have used it to rant about almost everything else, but not very often about my personal personal life. Right now I am going to break my rule.
Last summer Chris (Boyfriend, but I hate that term because it sounds extremely high school-esque.) spent the summer in northern Indiana working an internship. It was my first long distance relationship stint. It was difficult, but we each took action to get involved in other friendships. I had an excellent time with my small group at church, family, and other friends. When Chris returned in the fall, I felt like I knew him better because of the experience. When the only tools that a couple have to communicate are the phone and the internet, they don't have the opportunity to just sit and enjoy each other's presence. (Which is a beautiful thing, but it doesn't really increase the amount that you know about another person.) When they are on the phone, they have to talk about life and important stuff, or what they did that day, or anything, or the entire phone conversation sounds like this:
(Note that the (Cricket) inserts are the sound that a cricket makes in the lull of conversation in movies.)
"(Cricket Cricket) So..."
"(Cricket) I don't know what to say...(Cricket)"
"(Cricket) Well..."
" I, (Cricket), I wish I had something to say..., (yawn) I already told you everything that I did today..."
"I should let you go to bed."
"No, (cricket) I want to talk... (Cricket) I just don't have anything to say (yawn)."
Anyway, Since graduation Chris moved back to W. I see him a few times a week, and talk to him about once a day. We have found that this is harder than him being far away. We do have the opportunity to see each other, but we can't afford to make the drive every day because of the simple enemies of time and money.
I am learning things through the experience, things that you wouldn't expect a person to learn from stuff like this. Like:
Take time to hang out outside/join a biker gang.
Do random things that you wouldn't normally do.
Don't set an agenda for everything; be spontaneous.
Don't be surprised by what blessings may come by phone.
Make the time that you have with the people you love a concentrated investment.
P.S. If you have any long distance advice, I would love to hear it.
2 comments:
write postcards. if you can't afford postage, find someone who is going to W and have your friend hand-deliver your note.
this has never worked for me, as i do not have a gal to send post cards to, by mail or otherwise. but i'd do it if i could.
I got a fundraising letter from Tabor today that was all about you. :)
I've been in two long-distance relationships, and hope to never repeat that experience. Neither of them worked out, but I don't think that's the reason.
I know how you feel about your current situation being harder. When there's no chance to see each other you kind of get into a groove and learn to deal, but you can't really do that here.
My advice? Talk about things that are out of the ordinary. Be very open with your feelings. If you are feeling really into him, tell him. Also, to go with Doc's idea, send little gifts back and forth. Make him things. When you can't be with each other, you have to do other things to show that you care.
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