Pensive

Do not judge, do not fear, do not assume, this does not make me any different from the person whom you have always known. Do you ever get in those moods the kind of mood in which you are pensive to a dangerous level, the kind of mood that makes you feel as if you do not express, you will explode? Therefore I sit and sing at the top of my lungs. My songs are not happy, they are not angry. They are pensive and beautiful in their bass emotive conflict, conflict that I do not enjoy and enjoy at the same enigmatic time. I do not limit myself to any boxed set of emotions. I rest in being blissful. I relish an occasional rant (I even throw my flip flops against the wall). I do not believe that this pensive mood is harmful or even sinful. I devote my entire being to feeling the depth and fullness of this emotion. The emotion that has me singing at the top of my lungs to express all of the raw emotion in my soul. Such fullness that can not come from the depths of a soul that has never loved, never lost, never hurt, never laughed until crying, never been confused, never been lost, and never been found. These are the facts that give me the freedom to do so. I WAS LOST! I AM FOUND! I HAVE LOST! I HAVE LOVED! I HAVE LIVED! I WILL LIVE! I WILL JOY! I WILL EXPERIENCE GRACE! I WILL BE GOD’S!