Beware subs, my students tattle.

Beware subs, my students will tell.

I just got back from a two day sick/two day conference week, which meant I was at school on Wednesday last week, which explains my absence from posting. How’s that for a long sentence with terrible structure???

Anyway, One of my fifth grade classes came into the room today, and a student (Cody) who normally gives me no end of grief asked me,

“Miss Music, Where were you last week???”

I said, “Well, I had the flue on Monday and Tuesday and then I worked on Wednesday and then had a conference on Thursday and Friday.” I went on to talk a little bit about how I was sorry that they had not gotten a chance to teach the lessons they have been working on, and a student raised their hand and said,

“We had to do a lot of boring stuff.”

I thought to myself, I liked music bingo when I was little…I still like bingo. Heck people of all ages like bingo… do children of this day really think that bingo is boring?

Cody piped up, “Yah and the sub was MEAN! I got a bingo, and I tried to read it back to her, and I forgot what the bass clef was called so she told me that NOPE I couldn’t get the candy for the bingo, and that I couldn’t get another bingo! And I didn’t even want the candy because it was in her hand, and her hand was sweaty and it made the candy soggy and it was Gross!”

This was met by a chorus of loud affirmations from the rest of Cody’s indignant class members.

I was more than a little confused, How can sweaty palms make suckers soggy?

Another student said, “And she only did give out like four M&M’s when she did give candy!”

HOLD IT, HOLD ON, WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT M&M’S I thought. I had suckers. The lesson plan said suckers. The apple on my desk with the sticky note on it that says SUCKERS is full of SUCKERS!!!

“Where did she get the M&M’s?” I asked them…

Irving proudly walked over to my desk corner (where he is not aloud) and opened my middle drawer (which he is not supposed to do) and removed my emergency stash of dark chocolate peanut M&M’s. “FROM HERE!!!” he nearly shouted.

“She was supposed to give you suckers!” I exclaimed. “This apple is full of suckers, and that was supposed to be when you got a bingo, and I didn’t tell her that you had to read them all back correctly… She was supposed to help you and teach you when you forgot something, not take away your bingo! I am so sorry that it was so terrible.”

In my head I am thinking: WHAT THE CRAP!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT SHE GAVE THEM M&M’S WITH PEANUTS IN THEM!!! HAS SHE EVER BEEN IN A SCHOOL BUILDING BEFORE!?!?! WE CANT EVEN SERVE PEANUTBUTTER SANDWICHES IN THE LUNCH ROOM BECAUSE OF ALLERGIES! WE HAVE SUNBUTTER SANDWITCHES FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. AND NOW MY SUB IS HANDING OUT PEANUT CANDY!!! AM I GONNA GET SUED???

The thought that followed was as urgent as this.

EMERGENCY M&M STASH IS GONE!!!

Cody raised his hand to call me back to earth and said, “All that I have to say is… we are glad you’re back.”

Suddenly it didn’t matter so much that all of my M&M’s were gone. Maybe this fifth grade class will appreciate me more now that they see that the alternative could be much worse.