First of all, I would like to make no excuses for this long of a blogging hiatus. My only reason for not posting was, “I don’t feel like it.” Isn’t it amazing how that statement can interfere with a person’s internet recording time and activities… isn’t it amazing how that statement can interfere with a person’s…
entire life.
You see, for the past four days I have been rendered completely useless by one of the worst cases of strep throat in my recorded history. I believe there is only one other recording of strep in this log. You can find it somewhere circa an insecure sophomore year of college when this work of whatever it is began. Sophomore year was not the best for self confidence… it wasn’t the worst either. It was in fact a year.
Back to where I began the prior paragraph. I have been sick and have been in bed for the past four days with the exception of today. Today I graduated from sleeping all day, to sleeping only till noon and then moved my sorry carcass to the couch. I ponder, why the last three letters in carcass are _ _ _? Fitting isn’t it? Fitting, because that is a term that I may use to describe a sampling of my disposition since the smashing of the pointer finger on my left hand. Carcassful to coin the new adjective. Yes I know that was not a complete sentence. No I will not edit it.
You see, that Smash happened after a critical trip to Chicago, which led to the pondering of my existence in a town that I could reasonably compare to social exile until the recent past of the end of last school year, but not significantly so until this summer. What could cause the end of the social existence? In truth, I made two friends, two girls my own age, or close to my own age, with whom I can relate. In addition, each of these girls have significant others who do not socially clash with my significant other. After two complete years of traveling 1 to 3 hours for comfortable social interaction, I finally have something to quench my thirst. Stunning.
So, the pondering of my existence, gave way to a muddling of possibilities, that gave way to jumping to a myriad of conclusions, which gave way to driving my husband nuts with the left half of my brain, which gave way to a month of glum/depression/mood, which has broken into a FIT of searching for a creative outlet, which again gives way to driving my husband nuts with the left half of my brain.
I have taken up painting, I have begun a study of the advantages of the architecture of the compact modern home, I have continued my quest for an original jewelry attitude, I have began studying the art of mobile making in search of a design that will inspire something UNIQUE, I have began work on two clay vases with the art teacher at school, I have shaped my eyebrows, and am sitting on the couch with a mud mask on my face while my husband asks, “Are you writing a book?” My brain responds with… maybe I should.
I am again going through a growth period in my life. I am learning to trust God more for my future. (A lesson that will never end.) I am learning what I want from my life. I am learning I am more than just a good musician, and a great teacher.
Am I normally this personal? I feel like my usual anecdote/boring recount/filler stuff might be interrupted by this LENGTHY post.
But I have no excuses, so I will not apologize. I need to learn to not apologize as much as I do now anyway.
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