Tragedy

Tragedy Strikes Everywhere,
Sometimes the tragedies are personal, simply occurring within ones own person. They are emotional, mental, or physical trials that we do not let escape outside of the world of one.

Sometimes these tragedies escape our tall walls of self preservation and bleed over into the lives of the people we care about. Often this hemorrhaging of personal tragedy is beyond the control of the person bleeding. Sometimes they are completely unaware of their own tragedy, and sometimes they are unaware of reality altogether.

Tragedy can also come in horrific proportions such as mass chaos and the taking of innocent lives. These are the tragedies that get noticed. These are the tragedies that go down in histories. Terrorism, War, Mass Murder...

So, What do we do? How do we react? Prayer.
How do we help? How do we take action? Reliance on God to give us direction.
How do we mend? Only through the balm of the Living God.
How do we hope while others we love are still broken? By hoping in the power of Jesus Christ the Risen Lord.

I don't get it

Sometimes there are days that are so bizarre that it seems like I am dreaming. Yesterday was one of those days. Today I can only ask God, "Why?"

The rest of the weekend went well, but right now that seems pretty distant.

There is a Waterdeep song that keeps running through my head, so I will close with that.

Waterdeep: "Psalm 131"

Oh Lord my heart is not lifted up
My eyes are not raised to high for Thee
I do not think on things to great or marvelous
Or matters too difficult for me

But I have calmed and quieted my soul
Like a weaned child is my soul within me
I have calmed and quieted my soul
Like a weaned child with its mother is my soul within me

O Israel trust in the Lord
From this time forth and forevermore
O Israel trust in the Lord
From this time forth and forevermore

Wedding Buzz

Well, Tizz the season to get married. The summer months are approaching...

How many weekends are you traveling to weddings?
How many weddings are you missing to go to other weddings?
How much gas will be spent on the average trip to weddings this summer?
Is that why gas is so high? (curse fossil fuels!)
Do you have your wedding gifts lined up?
How are you helping your soon to be wedded friends?
What kind of bridal shower are you throwing?
How many bridal showers are you attending this spring?
How many Bridal showers did you miss because the Postal system did not work and you got the invitation two days after the actual wedding shower? (I missed One. Sorry Jill, the postal system failed me!)
Do you say yes to do the brides hair? Do you say no to the bride EVER?!?!?
Do you serve the punch or the cake?
How do you decorate the getaway car? Are you nice or mischievous?
Do you cut the circular cake in wedges or in long thin slices? (Try to cut the rectangular cake in circles!)
Are the groom's men banned from the vicinity of the punch bowl before the reception?
Are the groom's men banned from the entire reception? (Does that remind anyone else of King's Men?)
Do you take the "And Guest" or do you leave the "And Guest" at home?
What if YOU are the "And Guest," Do you go or do you stay at home?
Should I make friends with a pilot who can take me to Texas in May?
What do you say to His or Her side of the family in the somewhat awkward reception line? Does "Congratulations" really cut it?
Are you going to see these beloved friends who are getting married ever again?
Does this mean that your turn is coming? Will it ever come? (Probably round the mountain when it comes...)
What do you wear? Will it rain? Do you still wear the hot little dress to the wedding if it is cold? (YES!)
What would happen if you stood up and cried I OBJECT at the end of the wedding?
What if the "And Guest" stands up at the end of the wedding and cries I OBJECT!
What if the "And Guest" was your crazy uncle Bob?
Do I really go to Oklahoma 4 weekends in a row this June?
Should I rent an apartment in Oklahoma this June? (Probably)

Now I don't want people to get the wrong Idea. I actually love going to weddings. I am not a huge fan of receptions, but they have potential to be fun. I like the excuse to get out of town on the weekends to travel to weddings. I like staying in Cabanas in Oklahoma. I love my friends. I wish them well. I wish their husbands well. I pray for them in their first year of marriage.

So for all of you staring weddings in the face this summer, Shout Huzzah! And Don't Forget to weld the vents shut on your Get away car, or that thing is going to smell like Blue Cheese for months!

Cary Grant

Last night Amy, Rachel, and I watched Operation Petticoat and then we watched To Catch a Thief with Mike, Roman, and Chris. Both were excellent examples of later years of Cary Grant. I would have to say that Grant is one of my favorite actors of all time. Although there is serious rumor of him having a non traditional lifestyle, He is one of my favorite people to watch on the old silver screen. I would encourage anyone who enjoys old films to check out these two movies as well as, Arsenic and Old Lace, His Girl Friday, Father Goose, Charade, and Dream Wife. Each for its own Grant qualities. Our only beef with Grant? Why did you insist on wearing your pants so enormously high. I know that the era called for a tall trouser, but did you have to exceed height of any of the other people with whom you were on screen? Oh well... At least you made up for it in physical comedy, facial expression, good looks, and charm.

Cheers to you Cary! What a guy.

Yes No Maybe So

Do you ever feel like you are going round in circles chasing something? That is how I feel today.

Easter was great.

Friday-we went to Salina and drove around with my mom and sister. Then we went back to my house in Mac and ate Chinese food. We watched Open Season with my family. Then Chris and I watched Lady in the Water. His movies keep getting weirder and weirder.

Saturday-we went to Wichita to see Chris' family. The entire family was there. (both sides.) It was a colorful evening. I wish that we all weren't so tired. Everyone under the age of 24 looked like they were going to pass out.

Sunday-we lead music at our sunrise service at the reservoir. (my hands have never been so cold) It was 20 degrees out there. Then we went to 1st for church. Chris did a great job with the music. The choir sounded great! Then in the afternoon we went back to my parents house. We had a relaxing time there and then Kati and I died our hair. Mine is just a bit redder than my natural color, and hers is just a bit blacker than her natural color. It was a success.

Monday-not much has happened, just a lot of working and a lot of getting ready for senior night tonight.

I need a Nap

Potty Stomping

As most of you who read this blog may know, for the past three months I have been working as a Secretary here in the Alumni Department at Tabor. The office has been out of sorts for the past while due to a potty problem. The toilet on our half of the building has been "acting up," (not flushing as it is supposed to and running long after it should have stopped.)

We had the same problem about a month ago, and the Potty Stompers came. These men, who obviously have plumbing background experience, come into the office, take the toilet up off of the floor, put a large machine over the potty hole, and start it up. This machine makes a low rumbling sound which is accompanied by random sounds of vigorous stomping (which at times sounds like slow jack hammering). My office is adjacent to the bathroom, so the potty stomping is clearly heard from my desk. When these men come to stomp the potty, the other men who work in my office do the right thing and assist the potty stompers in any way they need. They check the progress of the stomping in the washroom, in the other offices, outside the office, and around the back of the office. After they fixed the problem last month, we got a new potty. This new potty was an estimated three to four inches taller than the last one that we had. (All in the office commented on the beauty and elevation of the new potty.)

Yesterday, the new potty broke. Today, the potty stompers are back.

If I were an olympian...

Last night, after teaching voice lessons, I went to Rachel, Amy, and Laura's. We talked and watched Dancing with the Stars. After that was over we watched Cool Runnings. This morning I got to thinking about what kind of Olympian I would be if I had the chance to be an Olympian.

(In this wondering I did not take into account my almost 6 foot frame since that dictates some of the events in which a person can participate.)

I found that I am most drawn to sports in both the winter and summer Olympics.

• I would honestly like to bobsled a lot. I know that it may seem cliche to say after I have just watched Cool Runnings, but I like to think that the film has no influence over my desire.
• I think that I would also enjoy slalom skiing. Something about the motion and the control of the skier is thrillingly precise.
  
• The Luge scares me beyond all shadow of a doubt, but if I prove to be good at it, I think it would be a blast. (I have similar thoughts about sky diving.)

As Far as the Summer Olympics go...

• Put me in a pool, and as long as I don't have to do the Butterfly I will be happy!!!
• Being on the diving team also would be AMAZING!
• Although I would detest playing sand volleyball in the little things that they wear, I would love having that kind of athleticism and endurance.
  
• I want to be a high jumper! Their event is the most awesome field event, right behind...
  
• THE HAMMER THROW. ('nouf said)
• If I could Compete, Really Compete in a Triathlon, it would be great. (I wish that I could only do the Swimming, and Cycling part. I hate running.)
  

So there are plenty of things that I would Love to do, but there are also things that I have no desire to even come near.

• I would NOT jump anywhere on skis, not for any amount of money, even if I was good at it.
• Boxing is completely out of the question. (can women even box in the Olympics?)
• Rhythmic Gymnastics, although similar to dance and as physically straining, has too much of a wuss reputation.
  
• Clean lifting 673,384,687,000 lb and putting the entire sum over my head does not have any appeal to me.
• No desire to run for more than to soar over a high jump bar. (I could run to train though, It is ok unless I have to compete at it.)
  

So there are my Olympian thoughts.

April First Weekend

So...
Friday I got to go out to Lunch with Panda and Amy. We had Mexican and it was oh so good. It was nice to hang out with these girls. Hopefully we will find more time soon.
In the evening, Chris and I went to Justin and Elise's for an upscale dinner. Justin is a wonderful cook. He and Elise made fillet min young, garlic mashed potatoes, green bean casserol, and a chocolate browney dessert with sauce and strawberries. Holly cow it was so good. We also watched "Strainger than Fiction." It was a great movie in fact I might buy it.

On Saturday I was a judges assistant at the Music Festival in the morning. In the afternoon Chris and I went to Wichita to run aaronds before going to a dinner at his home church. The evening had a 50's theme. His sister sand back up for one of her friends, and Clinton sang in a Barbershop Quartet. They did a great job.
On our way back from the concert I found out that two of my friends just got engaged. Congradulations to Phil and Traci!!!

Sunday was my last performance at Elbing. The kids did a great job. I am going to have to post some pictures of them. They are a small choir, but they are mighty.
Sunday afternoon I took a much needed nap, and then I cleaned my apartment. It looks good by the way. Hasn't been that clean in about a month.
I went to the spring concert. My favorite was the flok song section by Von Williams.

All in all it was a great weekend.

Life and other mysteries

So,
Brief update...

I will probably be deciding what I am going to be doing with my life within the next week. I will soon let you know if I will become professional teacher, or a graduate student.

For those of you who forget what it is like to prepair for, apply for and interview for jobs, it is tedious, time consuming, and somewhat stressful.

Right now Chris is sitting next to me, writing a computer program for his senior project. He is murming like a black choir in church during the sermon when something in the program works. This is what happens when the strengths of the left brain and the right brain are equal and therefore combat each other for stomping grounds.

Sometimes I think that the verse about God, "Now we see in a mirror dimly, but soon we shall see face to face." also applies to humans about humans. I think I see who I am, but because I am changing and growing so much as a person, I don't think I realize who I am. (At least for probably 50% of the time.)

Warning: abrupt ending.......NOW.

Fun things

I don't want to gloss over spring break. So I thought I would summarize it (mostly for my own memory benefit) even though I am a couple of days into the following work week.

Fun (and some not fun like cleaning) things I did over Spring Break:

Weekend and Monday
1. Got my car back
2. Cleaned out my room
3. Played Computer Games with my sister
4. Went to Target with my mom and sister

Tuesday and Wednesday
5. Spent the afternoon with Amy and Doc. (watched movie, ate pizza)
6. Had a sleepover two nights in a row
#. Cleaned, Worked on Applications, Thought about the future
#. Ate Dinner with Mom and Ashley (had Pizza)
7. Hung out with Erin, Rachel, and Amy and watched Bond, James Bond

Thursday
8. Fried Pizza. Yes, The aforementioned ladies and I fried pizza. You can look up Fried Pizza on Wikipedia. Because we used batter to fry our pizza, ours would be dubbed the "Pizza Crunch." There are some photos on the Internet of batter fried pizza, but they used corn meal and we did not. It tasted like a cross between a pizza role and a cheese stick. The idea originated in Scotland. One Fried Pizza sight was boasting on how fried pizza is just one of the reasons why the hart attack rate in Scotland is one of the highest in the world.
9. Went and saw "Bridge To Terabithia" (good movie)
10. Ate Lobster
11. Had Coffee
12. Talked about nursing stuff
13. Watched "A Far Off Place" (Movie made by Disney before Disney got wussy)
14. Stood in the Middle of Main Street

Friday
15. Cleaned
16. Worked on Applications
17. Lounged

Saturday
18. Recycled
19. Cleaned
20. Hung out with Sister
21. Ate dinner with my family (Enchilada Bake)
22. Jumped on Trampoline with Kati and Lee
23. Came back to the burro and went to bed

Sunday
24. Church
25. Lunch with Pastor Randy and clan
26. Made Soup for Sick Elise
27. Welcomed Chris Home
28. Worked on applications and portfolio
29. Went to bed and said by to my first free spring break in four year.

In summary,
I realize that I ate a lot of pizza. Seriously...what is with that.
I had a great time with family and friends.
I would do it all again

Random Goal: I want to take up Rollerblading.

Short

Well, spring break is over. It was a good chance to see family, hang out with friends, and get practically nothing done.

I finished another application and sent it in. I also am going to another interview today. This one is in Salina.

I think I am going through Menopause. Last night I couldn't sleep because I had Hot Flashes all night long. I was a Furnace one moment and the next moment I felt normal. This is not supposed to be happening to someone who has only been on the earth less than 25 years. However it is confirming my theory about the legitimacy of the quarter life crisis. Amy and I are beginning to believe that some people experience quarter life crisis just as people do when they are at their midlife point. Is this true? I don't know. Is it possible? Most Likely.

On Saturday I was talking with my sister, and we were talking about how she used to run around with the neighborhood kids when she was younger. She said, "That was when I was in shape. You have to be in shape to run around with neighborhood kids because they never stop." I got to thinking about how true this statement is. When you are young and hanging around with the neighborhood gang, you have to be ready for anything at anytime. I think that this could become a theory about life, but it hasn't had the time to mull around in my brain long enough to actually become something.

Ahhhh

I spent the day with Amy and Andrew. It was good. We watched Rear Window. We talked, ate pizza, drank orange juliouses and then played around on the Internet. I like times like this. Amy and I told Andrew about our 8th grade trip and JJ's Jinko Jeans. It was great!

I probably spelled Julious and Jinko wrong. Sorry

Back from home

I had a lovely few days at home. It was raining this morning when I woke up. It was nice to lay in bed from 8:00 ish to 9:00 ish and dose in and out listening to the rain. It continued to rain the rest of the morning. I packed up my stuff, stuffed the pooch in her bed, and hit the road. I stopped at W-Mart to get a key (I finally remembered!) and drove the rest of the way back to the burro.

I just want to say that after this weekend Akon's song that goes like: "Nobody wanna see us together, but that don matter, cuz I love you." will always be amusing to me. If you know my sister and her boyfriend, you may get a kick out of this as well. Just imagine Lee falling asleep on the couch, and my little Asian sister sneaking up on him and singing the first line of the song complete with the Akon accent (Kind of Jamaican or Island-ish). Keep in mind that she is singing into his ear at a somewhat loud volume. Lee wants to be mad, but he is laughing too hard because she sounds so Great as an Akon impersonator. HA!

I found this brightly colored, Bob Marley reminiscent hat this weekend and I wore it to Wal-Mart today. Just want to let you know that people treat you like you are younger if you wear a weird hat.

Random Thought flying by: Did you know that Target carries fashion clothes for dogs, but only for dogs in small weight categories.... Will this encourage more dieting among dogs? Only time will tell.

Garage Sale

So, For about 3 years, my sister has been bugging me to have a garage sale with her. The problem is that we always think of it way into garage sale season, and therefore are never ready in time. Well this spring all that is changing. I am biting the bullet and cleaning my room out. My room at home was never the same after high school graduation. It became full of beautiful things that I had received as gifts, I never got rid of my old stuff, because it fit fine when I took college things to college, and left home stuff at home. Over the years things accumulated as things do. I have already gathered 5 boxes of things to sell. I have spent the last couple of days going through, not even half of my room. GRRRRRR....I need a new system. It is good to purge. I am finding things that I had lost and was actually glad to find such as:

1 Khaki skirt purchased at the GAP and worn 1 time.
2 Pink Koosh ball from 1989 lost somewhere in the late 90's
3 Hoop earrings purchased to match a shirt that I frequently wear Lost sometime in 2005
4 Two amazing headbands which have recently come back into style Purchased in the early 80's and lost in the mid 90's

So you can see that the spree has been beneficial for me already. Who knows what is yet to unsurfaced itself.

P.S. Becky, If you read this I found some stuff for your science classroom. (1 Turtle habitat, 1 Can of turtle food, 1 outdoor light simulating light bulb, 1 Bottle water de-chlorinator)

God is in Control

Today I am going to audition for a position as Graduate TA at WSU. I am nervous, I just need to get in there and start. My audition is at 1:50. I would love to get the job. If I don't get it, I will teach next year and make money for a change.

I really want my Masters. I really want to be an amazing conductor. I am not yet, but this would help get me there.

God is in control. He knows where He wants me. He will get me there as long as I follow Him.

That's all...

Sad Strange Little Car

I took my car (affectionately known as Little Timmy) to Irv Schroeder's for maintenance on Tuesday night. I needed to get it checked out before Amy and I went to Saint Louis. I was thinking yah, probably about a hundred bucks for belt/hose type stuff. Little did I know that the Boots had come off of my power steering column and had caused foreign debris to get lodged in my column gears. (Who the hay knows that a steering column has boots. THESE ARE NOT MY BOOTS!!! WHOSE BOOTS ARE THESE???? I HAVE NO MORE BOOTS!!!) So, the grand total to fix my little purple friend was rocking somewhere around the "I don't have that kind of money" dollar value. This put a kibosh on the Saint Louis trip, and now I have to stop singing the "Meet me in Saint Louis Louis" song.

I am trying to find the good in this fiasco. Perhaps I am supposed to be stuck destitute in Kansas for the rest of the school year. Maybe this is God's way of telling me to stick around and rest and do maintenance on my life. In the end the answer is, "Who Knows?"

Well, Back to work. Off I go to save the world of Alumni Records and Spring Gold Outings.

I resolve

I don't normally resolve to do things very often. (I do not pronounce the t in often, but you can if you would like.) But I would like to resolve to write in my Blog more.

I went back and read most of my postings, and it made me sad when there were only a few a month, or in some months there were no posts at all. I like looking back at what I was doing a year ago and trying to measure how much has changed. Since I don't keep a journal, this is the best way for me to record things. I am putting this resolution on the blog so that I actually do it. I am not disciplined enough to work on things that I resolve only in my heart.
......

Today is beautiful. I am glad that the weather is so nice, because it helps me keep my stress level under control. I audition at WSU on Friday, and I am trying to keep my nerves under control. It should go well, unless my brains drain out my ears on Thursday night. (Which might happen because I have asked God to let me bomb my audition if I am not supposed to be at grad school next year.)

I think that I will spend some quality time in the library studying music and filling out applications. Someday I will read this statement and remember this transition in life. I hope that it will be a fond memory.

As the old song goes...
Que Sera Sera, Whatever will be will be, the future's not ours you see, que sera sera...

Tuesday feels like Monday

I am back at work. (my normal every day job) Yesterday I subbed for Lynn at the Junior High/High School. It went alright. It was an early morning. SNC starts at 7:30, and I have to be there before everyone so it means I need to be there at 7:10 ish. I know that the real world will soon make this a routine in my life, but I am trying not to think about it.

I was running an audition in the practice room, and I came out of the room to find 7 guys crowded around an I-book creating their very own R&B music. It wouldn't have been so bad, but they had hooked the computer up to the sound system in the room, and were blasting their creation for the world to hear out the open choir room door. They tell me all the time that they are too white to move while they sing in choir, but they write their own R&B (Ok it wasn't that good). (These guys need to stick to Frank, Barry, Michael, and the such. Strangers in the Night just works too well for them.)

This morning (Tuesday) feels like Monday. I gave a voice lesson at 7:30 (not easy to do). It is hard to change 15 years of breathing habits. After the lesson I came to work.

I am excited about Sharon's senior recital this evening. It should be amazing. I have said it before and I will say it again... That woman is the best accompanist I have ever had and will ever have!

That's all for now

The Approach of Spring Break

I am shocked that next week is Spring Break. I don't know what to do with myself. I am going to miss going on Choir tour. I do not believe that a person has truly experienced life without the experience of traveling with 35-50 people in your age range on a buss for endless hours of I don't know what. There are key experiences that I remember about each of the trips' buss rides.

Freshmen year I remember Spying and recording observations of "Best Friends" and other upper classmen choir members.
I remember leaving traditional seat partner Becky, and she had to sit with Chris H. She has never let me forget this.

Sophomore year I remember the Mad Libs that Jodi and Laura did in a Chinese accent.
I am not positive, but I think that sophomore year was the year that EVERYONE brought a Guitar on choir tour. And EVERYONE played theirs on the buss. All at the same time. All different songs.
Sophomore year was also the year that Becky and I tried to sit with different people every time we stopped. People kept getting mad at us for moving around and taking their seats. (This statement is written with furrowed brow and protruding lower lip.)

Junior year I remember what it feels like to spend two 19 hour periods on a buss in two shots. This time is including but not limited to one very uncomfortable night on two buss seats and one more comfortable, but more interrupted night on the buss floor.
I also remember watching the Wal-Mart Baby movie with what's her face Judd. (This was not a good selection of film for choir tour)
I also remember Becky and I getting stuck in the seat with lights that did not work, and documenting our feelings about this with one of the worst pictures that I have ever taken.

Senior year I remember making Chris watch Napoleon Dynamite in its entirety while he just wanted to sleep. (This was not me being mean, this was me being....well....being me. At least I didn't make him watch anything else.)
I also remember the 30 lbs of puppy chow that Elise made for the trip.
I also remember getting back on the buss after going to the Mall of America and seeing Roman's face at a Green state after realizing that he just dropped a chunk of cash on a Nice leather coat.

There are plenty of other things that happened on the buss on choir tour. Some of which I would rather not talk about. All of this to say. It was real, It was fun, I don't know if it was Real Fun though.

To those of you departing on Saturday,
Love your neighbor, and make sure the vents and lights work in your seat.

In general news:
I walked to work this morning. It was one of the most beautiful mornings that we have had this year. I wore a skirt and sandals, and the temperature was perfect. I am going to try to spend some quality time outside.

This week I am working for Brad (Tabor Choir) as his substitute while he listens to choirs in Miami or some place even warmer than here. (He tole me that it is raining there, and that makes me feel a little bit better. I hope he gets some sun shine, but that man is as happy as a lark as long as he is listening to good music.) I am so ready for spring. I love the feel of spring. Something about it just makes me feel like I can breathe easier. Like there is less pressure in life, and there is time to spend time with God, friends, and nature.

While I am talking about spring, I just want to give a shout out (I have never given a "Shout Out" before so bear with me) to daylight savings time. Mind you, I don't like falling back, but springing forward is awesome! I know that people loose an hour of sleep, but we gain another hour of light in the evening and that is wonderful!

In other news:
I am interviewing with WSU (grad school) and Salina Public Schools
I am also in the process of Applying at a couple of other places.


In shocking news:
My Kitchingroom is clean! It has not been clean since the beginning of the Tabor Phonathon which took most of my free evenings durring the week. And seriously, who wants to clean on Saturday morning. Not me!

In Good News:
I just finished reading the Chronicles of Narnia. They were just as good as when I read them when I was little. I am going to read The Hobbit next. I haven't read it yet, and I am excited to do so.