Beware subs, my students tattle.

Beware subs, my students will tell.

I just got back from a two day sick/two day conference week, which meant I was at school on Wednesday last week, which explains my absence from posting. How’s that for a long sentence with terrible structure???

Anyway, One of my fifth grade classes came into the room today, and a student (Cody) who normally gives me no end of grief asked me,

“Miss Music, Where were you last week???”

I said, “Well, I had the flue on Monday and Tuesday and then I worked on Wednesday and then had a conference on Thursday and Friday.” I went on to talk a little bit about how I was sorry that they had not gotten a chance to teach the lessons they have been working on, and a student raised their hand and said,

“We had to do a lot of boring stuff.”

I thought to myself, I liked music bingo when I was little…I still like bingo. Heck people of all ages like bingo… do children of this day really think that bingo is boring?

Cody piped up, “Yah and the sub was MEAN! I got a bingo, and I tried to read it back to her, and I forgot what the bass clef was called so she told me that NOPE I couldn’t get the candy for the bingo, and that I couldn’t get another bingo! And I didn’t even want the candy because it was in her hand, and her hand was sweaty and it made the candy soggy and it was Gross!”

This was met by a chorus of loud affirmations from the rest of Cody’s indignant class members.

I was more than a little confused, How can sweaty palms make suckers soggy?

Another student said, “And she only did give out like four M&M’s when she did give candy!”

HOLD IT, HOLD ON, WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT M&M’S I thought. I had suckers. The lesson plan said suckers. The apple on my desk with the sticky note on it that says SUCKERS is full of SUCKERS!!!

“Where did she get the M&M’s?” I asked them…

Irving proudly walked over to my desk corner (where he is not aloud) and opened my middle drawer (which he is not supposed to do) and removed my emergency stash of dark chocolate peanut M&M’s. “FROM HERE!!!” he nearly shouted.

“She was supposed to give you suckers!” I exclaimed. “This apple is full of suckers, and that was supposed to be when you got a bingo, and I didn’t tell her that you had to read them all back correctly… She was supposed to help you and teach you when you forgot something, not take away your bingo! I am so sorry that it was so terrible.”

In my head I am thinking: WHAT THE CRAP!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT SHE GAVE THEM M&M’S WITH PEANUTS IN THEM!!! HAS SHE EVER BEEN IN A SCHOOL BUILDING BEFORE!?!?! WE CANT EVEN SERVE PEANUTBUTTER SANDWICHES IN THE LUNCH ROOM BECAUSE OF ALLERGIES! WE HAVE SUNBUTTER SANDWITCHES FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. AND NOW MY SUB IS HANDING OUT PEANUT CANDY!!! AM I GONNA GET SUED???

The thought that followed was as urgent as this.

EMERGENCY M&M STASH IS GONE!!!

Cody raised his hand to call me back to earth and said, “All that I have to say is… we are glad you’re back.”

Suddenly it didn’t matter so much that all of my M&M’s were gone. Maybe this fifth grade class will appreciate me more now that they see that the alternative could be much worse.

Sister

Happy Birthday sister of me! Toast to 21 years of life on the earth. Toast to all that we learn in 21 years. Toast to all that we will learn in the next approximately 60 years. Toast to having 1/4 of life's toils over. Toast to experiencing 21 years of joys. As you begin your 22nd year, remember that in the past 21 I have been there, and I plan on being there in the next 60.

Jen

Was that a Joke?

Today in one of my third grade classes I asked the students... (while pointing to a metalliphone)

"This is a metalliphone, and why do you suppose it is called a metalliphone?

"Because it is made out of metal" Kid says

"That's right, because it is made out of metal. (pointing to a xylophone) This is a Xylophone, and why do you suppose it is called a xylophone,"

"Because it is made of wood" Alvaro piped up

"That's right, because it is made of Xylo" I replied...

"Ooooo... what is xylo?" asked Alvaro...

"It's a joke... Duh" Anna Said

"Miss hope... was that a joke?" Alvaro...

"Yes."

Oooo. Alvaro nodded his head as a glimmer of understanding blinked in the distance.

Is it Friday yet?

The Man on the Other End of the Line

Today I talked with a man on the other side of the USA. It was a simple conversation about the whats and what nots of reserving a short term apartment in Boston for this summer. His web page was down, and I needed to get the reserving done, so we resorted to the good old telephone.

We were both on cell phones, but he hung up and called back on a land line... I don't know why. He told me, but I couldn't hear through the thick accent.

He seemed like a nice guy. He was genuinely interested in the fact that his web page was down, and he kindly took care of my need to plan things MONTHS in advance.

Speaking of planning things months in advance... I am convinced that I could plan a wedding in 1 month. Yes mam/sir I could do it, and probably even work a full time job while doing so. The hardest part of it would be the invitations, because it takes some effort to gather the address of EVERYONE significant from your ENTIRE life. But other than that, it can be done.

The problem is the rest of the world. Can you believe these people who think that one must plan their wedding a year to two years in advance? I have 6 months, and people make comments to me about having a "short" engagement. Who do they think I am Droopy the slow moving detective cartoon who chugs out 5 words a minute? No, I am an efficient, determined, task oriented, exhausted woman of 24 who is out to make some progress. That is why I glued ribbon to paper for 2 HOURS last night. It is the fault of those people who book their whoever (cake, photo, church, pastor, dress, meal) 16 months in advance that those of us are FORCED to be engaged for 6 months when we just want to get married YESTERDAY.

This post went in a totally different direction than I was planning. Heh, kind of like life sometimes right?

I am out.

Don't Let Tere Come For You

Set up the scene:

It is February 13th, the day before parent teacher conferences and a four day weekend for students. The temperature in the room is on the warm side because these students know that the weekend is coming tomorrow and they only have one hour left of the school day. We are working on program music so all students have come to their seating arrangements and are, for the most part, ready to work. I attain quiet in the room, point out our agenda, and start our first song.

Suddenly the door at the back of the room opens. The sound is not loud, but it not soft. It is a firm purposeful opening of a door but also an opening that is not to be disturbing to more than one student. This one student hears the door open and his eyes open just a little bit wider.

I know, but I keep teaching.

Tere enters the room, a wonderful woman full of wisdom, knowledge, and the personality of one who has been teaching in the public school system for 20+ years. She moves with confident strides her magenta and black skirt swishing around her socked and Birkenstocked ankles.

I keep teaching.

Students who were not aware of her presence are now well aware that she is in the room, and that she is coming for someone.... someone who may not know that she is even there for them. But, that someone knows and is desperately trying to concentrate on being the best little musician he can be before being seized by Tere.

I keep teaching.

As Tere reaches her target she touches him on the shoulder. He turns to protest, but is not given the chance. She looks him in the eye with the look that only a Mother can give, takes him by the hand, and commandingly leads him from the room.

I keep teaching.

As the door clicks shut with the quiet loudness of impending doom, students turn to continue singing the song. There is a question in there eyes, "Will we ever see the Target of Tere again?" And the question lingers in the suddenly chilly air.

I keep teaching.

Valentines Day

So,
Valentines Day cometh again. It cometh every year; some to haunt, some to encourage, some to fill with emotion, and some to cram a schedule.

I am the later. I am the one who always has some stupid obligation to fulfill on Valentines Day. In fact within the three Valentine Days that I have been with Christopher, every one has been full to the brim with commitments and other such nonsense.

Last year I had the Phonathon, and Christopher had class...
The year before I had class.

You would think that professors of the collegiate world would care about valentines day a little more, since those of us who had someone to "Valentine" with were a little more serious about our valentining than we had been at younger ages. But no, they do not.

I am finding that Elementary schools are a little more forgiving... For the students. Not for the teachers. OR their parents. Yes, we have Parent Teacher Conferences on Valentines day, and in the evening until 7:30.

YUCK!!! Who wants to hear about their child's behavior/misbehavior on VALENTINES DAY!?!?!

No one, that's who, And what teacher even wants to think about their brood of 20-30-425 students on Valentines Day evening

No one, that's who,

But until USD Blankity blank blank can gets their act together... we will have conferences on Valentines day evening, and Christopher will again sit home by him self pining for the sight of my smiling face.

Good things are worth the wait

So,
As I get older, I am really learning that good things are worth the wait. I had to wait till I was an eighth grader to attend a school with more people than just my sister. I had to wait till I was 18 to go to college. That was worth it. I had to wait till I was 22 to start dating, and that was worth it. I had to wait till I was 24 to get my first teaching job, and that was worth it. And so on and so forth goes life.

So why am I all fired up to know what is next when I know that whatever it is will be worth the wait.

At least I won't have to deal with this for the rest of my life...

Oh, wait...

P.S. Congradulations to those of you who have just made it through a LONG wait.

super bowl commericals

Well, I thought that the commercials this year were not as wonderful as they have been in years past. There were some good ones, and there were some that made me want to crawl into a hole and mourn the state of man kind.

Favorites of mine,
Coca Cola where Stewie and Underdog were fighting for the coca cola bottle and the Charlie Brown balloon got it!
The E-trade commercial where the baby hired a clown with his "Extra Cash" but regretted his choice because he underestimated the "creepy factor"
The Budweiser commercial that was a rocky spoof when the Clydsdale doesn't make the team and then trains for the "big league"
I also loved the car commercial where the squirl was about to get run over and the camera panned to all of the screaming annimals. Very good!

Low points:
The Amp Commercial... Need I say more?
The Sales Genie commercials Both of them, but mostly the one with the pandas

Other than that... CRAP the Giants just scored! If they win, I will not be super happy. And you may not hear from me tomorrow, because I will be mourning the loss of the only NFL team that I have cared about since I was in Elementary school and I liked the Bears because my family thought that it was cute that I could talk like Mike Ditka.

Also, overtime would not be good, because I am in The burro right now, and I don't want to have to drive back So late.

Need I say More?

So, I can not campaign any more for the links that I have on my blog. I believe in what these women and men are writing. If you need more proof that they are good writers who deserve a glance then just take a look at this little paragraph straight from the mouth of Big Mama!

"Well, y’all will probably be as relieved as I was to know that according to some “experts” on the internet, my eyelashes should grow back in six to eight weeks. In the meantime I will be walking around with a naked eye because false eyelashes aren’t really in the cards for me due to the fact that I have the manual dexterity of a monkey with oversized hands that has just finished a bottle of cheap tequila."

Her only fault is the frequent use of the word, "Y'all."

Also, check out Antique Mommy’s post Reaching for Angels. It is pretty awesome.

The only thing I have left to say is, Thank God It's Friday!

Cameras have an odd effect on people

Have you ever noticed what happens in a room when a camera appears. You have to be a good sneaky photographer to get a camera into a room and get some pictures taken before any one notices. For instance, I had to video tape myself a couple of days ago for an evaluation that I had to do for work. The students were acting normal at first because they did not notice the camera. Yet as soon as one of them noticed, the group dynamic changed.

The camera hogs were being hoggy, looking at the camera and yelling "Hi Mom." The shy kids were being bashful, shooting little glances back at the camera and then turning around as quickly as possible with self conscious looks on their little faces.

When I bring out my camera, I have to be so sneaky in order to get actual candid shots of students. Some day I will have to show you some of my hooligans, but for now... You will just have to know that the camera changes their little personalities in a big way.

P.S. There have been four fifthgrade boy office referrals today. I am proud to say that none of them were mine, But I am not saying that I didn't think about it.

He's opening a club

I just had a kindergartner leave my room and in passing say, "Is He invited? Oh, that's what I thought. He's opening a club and him and him and me are invited, but he's not."

I wanted to say, "Well, I am opening a club and he's invited to my club, but not you and him and him." but I didn't.

Why didn't I?

When I was in third grade, I was in a club. It consisted of me, Sabra, Emily, josh, Jake, and Jana. We were the "God's creations club." It was right around the time when Captain planet was the coolest of cool in the newest of new ways. We were all different parts of God's creation. Jake was the plants, Josh was the land animals, Sabrah was the birds, I was the water, Jana was the fish, and I think that Emily might have been the sun but I am not quite sure. I remember we had some sort of salute that was captain planet-esque where we all put our hands together, shouted something, and went to our respective spots on the playground. It was the best of the best, and the rest was the rest.

Maybe that's why I didn't open my own club today. I have already been one of the "In Crowd" and although it was awesome while it lasted, the next time you see someone who is in a different "in crowd" it is hard to swallow.

Some would argue that I have been in the "in crowd" during more days than just third grade at church. Who knows... maybe it was true, but if I was in... I didn't realize it. I was just a goof being myself, and someone brought me along.

So, Here's to the in's and out's of life. May they teach us to stand strong when we are alone and rely on the reliable when we are not.

recorders strike a funny note

So,
I was again teaching a recorder lesson. The class was doing exceptionally well. They are still working on B, A, and G. I have a policy that they get to play once out of turn without a consequence, and the second time they play out of turn they have to walk a lap.

Now... This class has not had to walk any laps so far, but for some reason any time any of them let out the tiniest little squeak in the middle of a rest the whole class jumped a mile high. If they played one peep after the end of the song, they would all look around suspiciously at each other. They were quick to point out each other's out of line peeps.

Anyway, there was a little peep that I chose to ignore, and they all opened their eyes as widely as they could because they all wanted to look as innocent as possible. None of them was going to admit that they had accidental peeped at the wrong time. I looked at them and said,

"Wow, you guys are jumpy! You need a little relaxation in your lives." I immediately turned to start the next song and was counting off, "one, two, ready..." when I heard, "Yah, if we even had a life." It was muttered by a discouraged looking fourth grade boy.

I can't lie, I lost it. It was a complete 14 karate crack up. The rest of the students started to snicker as well, and then we all laughed. I told him, "You win the award for the funnies thing I heard all day!"

I probably shouldn't have said that, because after class he came up to me and asked me, "what is my prize?"

Dakota and I have a good working relationship. I call him out for talking a lot, and he makes me laugh. It is a system of checks and balances and that's all there is to it.

Bad Luck

I have been playing card games all of my life. I usually do alright when I am playing partner games, but if I am on my own I can't ever wind. I have only beaten my sister at Monopoly one time EVER in my life, and it is not for lack of trying. I rarely beat Chris at anything, and I am thinking that I know why.

I have awful luck. I have never won anything except a canvas bag in Florida that says Magic Tree Resort. I guessed how many somethings were in a jar of something. (See how memorable it was.) But other than that, my name is never drawn, and I can't get a good hand dealt to me in cards.

It is not that my hand is always bad, but it is never best. I always wind up somewhere in the low middle of a group, last of two, and third of four. I need an upper for my luck. Last night my luck was so bad that I dropped an entire box of double 14 dominoes, and that was even before starting to play.

Get this, we weren't even playing dominoes, we were playing cards.

The only time I have ever won anything fare and square was when I was learning to play poker with a group of friends. I won almost all of the candy corns that we were betting with. Yet, even the victory of that was dampened by the fact that Shane bit off all of the white tips of my candy corns when I wasn't looking.

With each loss, my competitive spirit has been a little more broken, and now it doesn't even bother me to loose. Except when Christopher looks at me and laughs his blast off laugh, and then I get mad, and he tries to make up for it but it is all just too annoying. The whole thing ends with a punch to a stomach, and the words, "Just leave me alone you big dumb jerk."

And the night is over.

Gone, but not forgotten.

The end.

Full time blog

So,
I read these women's blog

Antique Mommy,
Big Mama, and
Boo Mama.

They are amazing writers, and they are absolutely hilarious and Antique Mommy is so deep and articulate that I just want to cry when I read her stuff sometimes. I don't read Boo Mama very often, but Amy does and she has a lot of good times there. You should check them out!

Someday, I would love to:
A. be that funney
B. be that good of a writer
C. experience that much joy in the little things

Prayer

Father,
I know that I have promised to trust You in every situation. I know that I have given You every part of my life and not just some of it. I know that You have a perfect will for my life. I just don't know what it is.

I have walked through every door that You have opened. I have tried not to question Your will, and I have been blessed. Why now do I question my decisions and my discernment of Your will? I have been so confident until now? Show me the way.

Please grant me the wisdom to let go of all of my prior expectations for life and willing let You lead me into what You have for me. Help me learn to be a follower of You.

Father, speak into the life of your servant, and make a clear path for a servant to follow.

four days a week

I firmly believe that students should only attend school four days a week. Fridays, in my opinion, are useless to say the least. If I gave tests, I would give them on Fridays. Now I know why teachers choose to have tests and projects due on Friday. Because there is no other educational point for the day. And, it is a good way to monitor student behavior and focus. "Here, it's Friday, and you have been learning all week, and you really want to goof off. I think that we should see what you remember about what you have learned, and in taking time to do this I won't have to watch your every moove for destructive behaviors."

Class participation, even if students are completely engaged in an activity earlier in the week, on Friday will decrease by at least fifty percent. I am almost sure of it.

Can I blame them? Absolutely not. I think that as a student I remember thinking on Fridays... "Ok, I have a test in English, and a test in History, but the rest of the day I can just goof off because it is Friday, and no one introduces any new information on Friday, so it doesn't count." If those were my thoughts then, I can hardly imaging the thoughts of students right now.

I am all for education... (an obvious statement) But does it have to happen on Friday. I maintain that test scores would improve if we had a four day school week.

Those my friends are my thoughts.

I recant

I recant any cursing about recorders!

First, I just had a great class with recorders.

Secondly, all of my kids get to use their own recorder. I assign them and once we are done using them, they turn them in and I boil them and clean them and scrub them because I am kind of a germiphobe.

Anyway, one of the teachers just told me: "You have enough recorders that all of the kids get their own? Wow, when I was in school we had to dip them in scope between people and share them."

OH MY GOSH!!! IS THAT EVEN LEGAL!!!???!!! THAT IS... OH WOW!!!.... AAARRRRGGGGHHHH.
ICK! EEEEWWWW!!!!! (vomit into my mouth just a little)

Oh wow, I could not do that to a kid. No matter how much I don't like them, I just couldn't do it to a kid.

So, As I was Blog Brousing

I came across a blog with this link on it

http://www.expelledthemovie.com/playground.php

Now, I am not so sure what I think about it. I am a firm believer in intelligent design, and I am hoping that this film does not make people even more adverse to the issue because of the hotness of the topic thus far.
I was impressed with the idea that it takes on, and I am curious to see the film. I am one for strange movies, just ask Christopher. He will attest that I am not one who dislikes movies that the general public dislikes. I don't think that I will be able to rope him into seeing it, but if anyone is game? Give me a holler and we will explore the mind of Stein and his scientific acquaintances.

until next time.

Recorders are...

Ode to the recorder:
............
The first instrument of almost every person.
The last instrument of almost every person. (and for good reason)
.................

Miss Music 13:4-forever
Recorders are not patient, recorders are not kind.
Recording ability is envied. It is the cause of boasting and pride.
Recorder players are self seeking.
Recorder players are easily angered, and they keep a record of theirs and others mistakes.
Recorders are not to be trusted. Recorder players have little hope. Recorder players preserver only when the notes are easy B A G quarter notes.
Recorders never fail to cause anxiety.
..........................

It took me an hour and a half to round up 68 recorders in my music storage closet that had not been chewed on. There are about 100 rejects sitting in the closet that have seen better days. Days before 4th graders decided to snack on their mouth pieces for afternoon tea.

Although Recorders are hard... I am glad that I have a good fourth grade class to work with, because I wouldn't want to do this with any other group.

So... Cheers for the Fourth grade class... and down with those dingy plastic flute things!

I live in the moment, I plan for the future

So,
I haven't posted in Forever. It is because I am working on living in the moment and planning for the future. It seems like planning is taking most of my time. If I am planning at school, I am planning lessons, planning programs, and planning wedding stuff over my lunch break. After school, I work out which I consider planning for a healthy lifestyle, and then I come home, eat and do more wedding planning. The best times are the times that I can just sit around. Yes... Those are the good times right now.
I am trying to gather addresses of family and friends as of late. That and I cut out 200 little squares of paper about 3x5 inches yesterday. It took me a couple of hours plus the length of Oceans 11 to get them done. Hurray for making progress on the invitations.
In the end, my new philosophy for my wedding is, "Whatever Dude." adopted from Antique Mommy's philosophy on potty training. I know that in the end it will be wonderful, so why sweat the little stuff.

Time to start the day!

Charles Schultz's Philosophy

The following is the philosophy of Charles
Schultz, the creator of the 'Peanuts' comic strip. You don't have to
actually answer the questions. Just read the e-mail straight through, and
you'll get the point.


1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America.

4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winner for best actor and actress.


6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.


How did you do?

The point is,
none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate
achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards
tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried
with their owners .




Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4.
Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.


5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.



Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in
your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the
most awards. They are the ones that care.



Pass this on to those people who have made a
difference in your life.

'Don't worry about the world coming to an end
today. It's already tomorrow in Australia ' (Charles Schultz)

All they want for Christmas...

There have been a few students who have made priceless comments to me over the past three days of school. Some are priceless because of the faith that they still have in Santa and his abilities, and others are priceless because they break my heart and let me know why I wanted to be a teacher.

For instance,

G. wants Santa to get him Super Bowl Tickets. I told him that I thought that Santa would try his hardest, but Super Bowl Tickets are a high order, even for the big man himself.

On a more reasonable note,

C. would like the Blue Ranger, the Red Ranger, and not the Grey Ranger because he already had the Grey action figure, and it isn't as cool as the others. He would also like three new monster trucks. One with the Blue Ranger on it, one with the Red Ranger on it, and one with the Black Ranger on it, because he already has the Grey one and it is not as cool.

M. wants a pony. I know from childhood experience that there is a 99.9% chance that M. is NOT getting a pony.

On a more serious note,

J. wants his dad to get to come back from Iraq again soon, because he wasn't here long enough last time he visited.

Ji. wants his mom to get out of g-a-l(He spelled it to me). Ji's cousin reminds him that Jail is spelled J-A-L, but there might be an "I" in there somewhere.

M. wants a family where she can stay for longer than just a few months.

M. and S. would like to never have to worry about having enough money to pay for their lost library books ever again.

A. wants to understand why the adjective modifies the noun, and why the adverb modifies the verb, and why does the adjective come before the noun. He wants his eyes to stop "watering" when he doesn't understand something.

T. just wants a friend.

So here is a request to Jesus, and Santa for that matter, just from me this holiday season:
Santa, please let this time of celebration be a time that my students can enjoy. That they won't have to worry, be afraid, be sad, or be angry. Even if my students don't get what they want for Christmas, let the day and the days around it be comforting and free of pain and confusion. Let them not be Alone.

Be with them.

The Ultimate Girl's Night

So,
Last night, or afternoon if you will, after school, I met Amy and Elise at David's bridal to look at dresses. Now, you must have some background on the situation.

I have tried my entire life to not plan my wedding. I have friends who had their entire weddings planned by the time that they were 9 years old. The task of not planning became even harder when I started dating someone, and then dated him for two years.

Now I can finally plan! Now I can finally think about it! Now is the only time when I am convinced that I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I WANT!

People ask me: "What are your colors?" "What kind of dress do you like?" "What flowers do you want?" The answer to these questions was, and sort of still is, "I don't know."

Yah, that's right all of you 17 years in advance wedding planners, I have no clue what I want, and I am beginning to think that I should have planned more as a child. Here is the deal... All of this time I thought that Christopher would want to have a key role in planning our wedding.

BA HA ha ha ha!!!

Ahem...
I was wrong. Really wrong............So wrong.

So now I have been on the hunt going on three weeks now. I have made some definite progress on the dress front. There is a problem with the progress. It leads me to two wonderful options on two amazingly different styles. I can't show you the Wedding dress because... DUH! it is a surprise, but the bridesmaids dresses look like

This:



And This:



Or like This:




How freakishly different could those two dresses be? The other problem is that the wedding dresses are completely as different as the bridesmaids dresses. What a dilemma.

Well,
Enough with the whining! Would I like some cheese with that wine? No I do not want cheese, and I do not like wine. (A fact that the fiance would love to change... but I don't think it is going to work out for him)

Wow, I completely forgot that this post is called "THE ULTIMATE GIRLS NIGHT" Now say that in the car dealer's voice that you always hear go, "SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!!"

Anyway. We had a lovely time trying on dresses. My favorite was the third dress that I tried on, and that was it. I didn't need to put any more on. I knew that this dress was going to give me fits to make my decision, and the fact that the bridesmaid's dress looked like splendid goodness on my beautiful Amy did me little good as well.

After 2 and a half girlie filled hours of dresses, strapless bras, veils, and petty coats we moved on to a girl's next best friend. ITALIAN FOOD (pronounced i - little i sound - talian, not I - long I sound - talian. People do not live in EYE-tally) We fed our hungry bellies and talked of younger days, yester years, young children, younger men, older men, our men, the tendencies of man, man's relationship with God, the difficulty of speaking of spiritual issues with the one's closest to us, and we topped it all off with talk of birth control and urostat, and then I drank a plate of aged vinegar and olive oil.

(Hey, I got five bucks for doing it, Don't judge!)

Women are weird,
deep but weird,
inexplicable, deep, and weird.
Poor men.

Four days off

Last Monday my little town encountered a disastrous ice storm. It rained and rained, then it iced and iced, then it froze and froze. All in all, it was quite the storm.

The next day I had off because of the dangerous conditions of the roads. There were limbs down everywhere. The tree at my parents house is broken beyond help, and they are considering taking it down. The tree outside my apartment was nearly bent in half. The branches were touching the ground, and down the block there was another tree that had fallen on a car.

Well... we had Tuesday off, and then came the call that Wednesday would be a snow day as well. On Tuesday I wrapped gifts and got ready for Christmas, and on Wednesday I went to school and got some things done, and then I lazed around for the rest of the day.

When I got the call on Wednesday that school was canceled for Thursday, I made up my mind to be productive and get a bunch done on the wedding. On Thursday I went to McPherson and looked at dresses with my mom, met with a florist, and did other planning. While I was trying on a dress, the power went out. I had to walk to the front of the store and they had to bring out a mirror for me to look in, because the only windows in the store are at the front. It was a fun experience and I saw some beautiful dresses.

While I was trying on dresses, I got the call that indeed Friday would be off as well. I came back from dress shopping, and convinced my sister to spend Friday with me for wedding reasons. We went out Thursday night to pick up some food from my friendly neighborhood bar and grill. (The B's) We waited at the pick up stall for 30 minutes. They got the order wrong, and we waited for another 10 minutes for them to get it right. Good thing the food was good. To bad I still had to pay.

Friday was lovely. My sister let me boss her around all day. Chris crashed our dress party at a bridal store, good thing I had my street clothes on and not a gown. He is not much for thinking about these bad luck things, but I like to be a little suspicious, or at least keep the dress as a surprise.

Kati tried on One dress... She was not a fan. I wasn't either. Oh the madness of a continuous line of hideous brides maids dresses. The possibilities of ugly are endless. It seemed that things were looking up in the early 2000's. Bride's Maid's dresses seemed to be borderline attractive, but sadness, it must not be so, because I have yet to find one that is reasonably priced that is not,

"U-G-L-Y it don't got no alibi, it ugly, yah, yah, it ugly!"

Don't you love teen aged sayings from the 1990's.

Anyway... The rest of the weekend went off without a hitch, which is amazing considering the roads were terribly bad, and Chris and I drove on them almost continuously from the snowstorm on Friday night on till the slush of Sunday. All in all the weather man and I are not friendly driving companions.

Well,
I am going to call it a day, or at least an afternoon. Amy and Elise are coming up tonight to look at more dresses.

And the quest for the bride's maid's dress continues!

So glad for Friday

It is finally Friday. I know that it has been a long time since I have posted, but it hasn't been for some very good reasons.

First of all I am engaged as of last Saturday evening! It is a beautiful story, and I don't want to spoil it with the shortness of my time right now. Sometime I will write it down and give it all the consideration that it deserves.

This weekend should be a lovely weekend. We are going to Clinton's concert in W tonight. He is waltzing with a little cheerleader, and I am told that he is pretty good at it. Then on Saturday I get to attend the somethingth annual Christmas at mama Rooses house where me and my girly friends from college go to make Christmas goodies all day long. It is a wonderful tradition. I get to go to the Ball Game. Then Sunday will be back to church, and finally to the Tabor Christmas Festival.

Ah, the weeks before Christmas are Creeping by!!! I should probably wrap some of the Gifts that I have gotten. I love the holidays, and the focus on family and change of pace!

Miss Music has a Dream

Last night I had a dream that it was the beginning of next school year. I am in opening school meetings, but the weird thing is that the meetings are in our building which is not our building. It is not a building that I have been in before, but it is extremely reminiscent of the building in which I went to middle and high school.

Anyway... I am done with some meetings and I am on my way to my classroom for the first time in the new year. I reach my classroom, and it doesn't have my name on it. Nope my name is on the door of a classroom that is a few doors down from my classroom. All of my stuff is missing. I have normal desks in my room instead of carpet and chairs. There are student computers upside down on the floor. My desk is about a foot and a half shorter than my old desk was, and there is an Indian style cushion for me to sit cross legged on. Oh yes, and my desk is in the middle of the room, rather than in the corner where I prefer it. There is a green black board on a stand that is teetering crookedly on its last good leg, and at the front of the room there is either an antique overhead projector, or a reel to reel projector running something black and white and fuzzy on the cracked screen at the front of the classroom.

I check my name on the door, and underneath it says First Grade. I bolt down the hallway and catch Tina coming out of our meeting. I ask her, "What am I teaching this year?" "First grade." she says calmly in her authoritative tone. "First Grade? Am I certified to teach first grade?" "No, but we thought that you would do a good job, and one of our other teachers backed out at the last minute." She responds matter-of-fact-ly. "Who is teaching music?" I ask keeping my cool (because if she asks me to do both at the same time, I am going to walk out of that building forever) "Oh, we got a long term sub to do that." She replies adding, "The kids will be here in an hour, so go look at your lesson plans. You will be fine."

I walked down to my room and the student computers, which were upside on the floor are now upside down on a low desk with itty bitty chairs in front of them. I start to go about straightening my room, but then I can't decide whether to do that or work on lesson plans... After a short debate I go about finding my curriculum. My first few students are coming into the room. I know some of them from the previous year. They immediately sit down on the floor and begin tracing the alphabet in the thick layer of dust that covers my entire classroom.

This is a health hazard. I walk back down the hall and ask Tina, "Did the maintenance men get to my room over the summer?" "Well of course they did." She replies looking at me as if I am loosing my mind." "They couldn't have, because there is so much grime and dust in my room that my students are writing the alphabet on the floor, the student computers are upside down, someone has sawed the desk legs off of my desk, my white board is missing and the replacement green chalk board is almost ready to fall over, and I can't find my science curriculum." She looks at me steadily and says, "I will have Jeremy come down and look at it."

"Ok," I say and turn and go back to my room, where there are students and parents waiting to meet me. The children rush to hug me, and their parents shake my hand. No one seems to notice the fact that my classroom is falling apart. There is even a student typing something on one of the upside down computers.

I can't remember much after that part of the dream. I guess that I must have waken up for a little while after it, because I remember it all so well. I do know that I did wake up this morning teaching a first grade class the song, "Going Over The See."

Maybe I need to see a therapist, or at least never eat a peanutbuster parfait before bed ever again.

Lunch Lounge Lurker

Fact or Fiction?

Fact: There is a lunch lounge lurker at my school.
Fact: This lounge lurker has been lurking around the lounge, and stealing healthy items out of the lunches of other staff.
Fact: It is not the kindergarten teacher, because (quoted just today) "If I was going to do something bad like steal, I would do something really bad and steal food that was not healthy like cheese dip."


Fact: The word Igloo can be read "Ig-100." (pronounced ig-one-hundred.) by a third grade student.

Fact: In an elementary school this conversation can be heard.

fourth grader to a teacher - "When did you get bangs?"
teacher - "A few days ago."
fourth grader - "You bought them?"
teacher - "Bought them?"
fourth grader - "Yah, you bought your bangs?"

Post to come

There will be a thanksgiving post, but not quite yet because I am trying to create a Kindergarten program out of.... I don't even know what.

Pray, Just Pray!

I am Find, FINED, FIND

I can't breathe through my nose. I am currently introducing myself as Jed.

I was trying to explain what my friend's maiden name was today at lunch. I said, "Her name was Burds. Burds. WINTER BURDS!, Ahem... B-U-R-N-S (Spelling out each letter) Burds!"

The other thing that went on in the lounge today...

A teacher just got back from Las Vegas. She was talking about the large man who sat next to her on the plane. Now this teacher has a sharp tongue and she has OCD. This is a frightening combination to anyone who knows her. I like her... as long as she keeps liking me... But the poor portly "gentleman" (Who happens to be the owner of the Strip Bar in this town) is not liked by this OCD - sharped tongue teacher, and now he knows it.

I would have loved to hear her scream at him while being squished to her side of their two chairs.... "I NEED MY ZITHROMAX, NOW!!!" While his posse of "ladies" and pimps watched in horror.

Lost my Links

Wahhhhh!!!

I am sad, I lost my links and I am too blogger illetrate to figure out what happened to them. If you read this and you used to be linked on my blog, or if you read this and you want me to link you even though you weren't linked before, just leave me a coomment that has your URL on it and I will try to replace your links.

Stupid new format that I had to go and try to improve.

Thankful

I am thankful that every day I wake up, get out of bed, eat breakfast, and am able to transport myself to work.
I am thankful that I have a network of loving family and friends.
I am thankful for all of my letters to and from Amy.
I am thankful that I have a choir to sing in after a year of choral fasting.
I am thankful what when I am sick, I can go out and get vitamins, herbs, and medicines to make me better.
I am thankful that I was brought up in a home that taught me the importance of working for what you believe in rather than what the world thinks is valuable.
I am thankful that I have the mental capabilities to accomplish all that I have and even more to come.
I am thankful for supportive teachers.
I am thankful for the kids I teach, even the yahoos and the brats.

I am thankful for the God who loves me, the Lord who saved me, and the Spirit who guides me.

I am thankful

don't much like it

I like teaching. I love celebration days.

Today was supposed to be a third grade celebration day. It did not work. It was frustrating. I had three games planned, and because of behavior. I got through half of one. Their teacher is a lovely woman who is a good teacher. I just had so many problems with behavior with about five boys. I am not saying that I would, but now I know why kids used to get spanked in school.

Sometimes there seems like their is no other alternative. I can sit them out, Sit them down, Send them to the principal, Take away rewards, Give them stern speeches, and I get few results. It is better than it was at the beginning of the year, but I need more from these kids. It makes me wonder what they get at home. I know that home life of some of these kids is hard, but I also know that others, who have good home lives, are behaving badly as well.

I Vow, that if I ever have children, that I will try my hardest to provide the loving structure that children need to succeed in school and eventually in the rest of their lives.

Because frankly, if my kids give their teachers as much crud as these kids give me...

'Nough said

Sweet Success

My first program was a success. Yes, there were little mess ups here and there, but honestly I was working with 65 kids at a time, or course there are going to be little flubs.

I had them watch their program and evaluate their work today. Here are some of their evaluations

Things We did well:
Sing
All that I can be (song)
Sang clearly
Stayed together
I was good at Gratitude Attitude
Dancing
Mya and Halie's part
Solos

Things that We could improve
Getting to know the words better
Late entrances
Talking loud ("Talking Lawd")
"Most of the people in the class are wiggling"
Not to point out mistakes (A girl actually pointed at another boy when he was early with his line, causing the program to come to an abrupt halt, and the boy to say, "WHAT!?")
Stop waving around

Things that we could more of, or things that we didn't think of:
MORE ACTIONS
Dancing
Coming in row by row on the songs.

The kids are pretty good evaluators. I corrected the spelling on the answers. I had to leave the "Lawd" because it makes me think of a large woman in a Gospel church crying out for the "LAWD."

Or it could have referred to me crying out for the "Lawd" before the program started because I was SO NERVOUS!

Sorry computer can't upload video

Well, I had a great video to upload to my Blog. It would have been my first venture into such vast technology, and it also would have allowed me to show you what my fifth grade yahoos look like. (In Technicolor and Full Sound) But, alas, my computer will not acquiesce to my request.

So instead I will ask you to use your imagination....

(wavy screen sequence inserted here, and out of the waves you can see four fifth graders emerge)

In front of them is one xylophone. One or two of them are holding two mallets. They play a pattern, sometimes this pattern is indistinguishable, and some times it is easy to hear. As they play, another student reads a Haiku about fall and Halloween and two other students emphasize their words with rhythm instruments. At the end of the haiku they stare blankly into the camera and the video (with awesome effects) fades to the next four students.... and so on.... and so forth...

(Wavy image back to normal screen.)

I hope you enjoyed that short clip of my life for the past THREE WEEKS!!!

Yeah it took them three weeks to write a haiku, print it out so that they could read it, match it with an ostinato, add percussion, and film it.
Yeah, I am kind of complaining about the length of time this project took, but look on the bright side. Lesson plans were easy for a while!

Ta ta for now!

forever and a day

Wow,
It has been a long time since I have posted. Not as long as some interludes but long enough. I guess that since so much has been going on, it has been hard to just pick one thing to write about, and I have ADHD so I can't write about more than one thing without the syntax and paragraph structure going out the window.

I guess I will write about one of the two things that have been occupying my mind the most over the past week. Perhaps after that I may write about the other. (if I actually get that far before the first thing renders me completely unable to do anything but sit in a corner, rock back and forth, and call out for cinnamon apple sauce.)

I am working on my first programs as a real teacher. Last year I was in charge of the 6th grade Christmas Concert back in the Burro. I learned a lot, and I am so glad that Lynn made me do it, because I learn by trial and error.

You can say that I have learned by trial and error in this first program. Most of these errors have been because of the monster I like to call Misconception.

List of Misconceptions:

1. My students care about not looking foolish.
You may find it surprising, but some of my students actually do not care if they look foolish or not. They, in fact, would rather look foolish than please me. (disclaimer: this is a rare breed of student, and most of them were born with chips on their shoulders.)

2. My students do not want to have a program.
I didn't think that students would be excited for programs, simply because during the first few weeks of learning songs, my students feigned interest and scraped by in class with minimalist effort. I have been surprised to find that students actually get excited about their programs, but I have to sell them on the idea first. Instead of telling them, "Guys I am super excited about your new program!" I said, "This year's program is going to be about social skills so that you can learn more about how to be better citizens."

NEWS FLASH!!!

KIDS DO NOT CARE ABOUT BEING BETTER CITIZENS, THEY WANT TO MESS AROUND AND HAVE FUN!!! AND DO COOL DANCES!!! AND HAVE FUNNY LINES!!! AND STUFF.....

now i know that.

3. Students who do not speak English do not know what I am talking about.
I have a student, I will call him Rob, who speaks Mandarin and very little English. The thing is, He thinks that this is a good excuse to exude little effort and in general, dink around. He should be able to do the actions. You can wave your arms in any language, but he has chosen to follow the suite of the yahoos in his class who don't think that music is important.

NEWS FLASH FOR THEM!!!

MUSIC IS IMPORTANT TO ME!!!... IF YOU DINK AROUND IN MY CLASS YOU WILL NEVER GET TO DO ANYTHING FUN... EVER... IN A MILLION YEARS... AND YOU WILL NEVER TOUCH AN INSTRUMENT... AND YOU WILL NEVER SIT BY YOUR FRIENDS... AND YOU WILL NEVER EARN A BEHAVIOR NOTE... WHICH MEANS YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A CLASS PARTY...!

And they know it, oh how they know it.

As for other misconceptions, there are too many to be named. I do not want to sound completely negative. I have had a great time working with these kids on the songs and actions. My fourth graders are dancing around all day in the hallway. Yesterday I walked up on a fourth grade boy who was doing an east coast swing step in the hallway and shaking it, YES IT, for all IT was worth.

It was....er....precious....

For the most part, I feel good about my first program experience, now if only I can convince parents and students of that.

odd signs of exhaustion

this morning i specifically remember thinking to myself, "i have staff meeting this morning. i have to be at school early so i won't do my make up. i will just do hair and mascara." i proceeded to get ready and come to school.

i just got back from the rest room, and as i was washing my hands i realized that i am not wearing mascara, but i am wearing foundation, blush, eye shadow, eye liner, and lip gloss. my hair is also done.

i didn't know that i did that. i have no recollection of applying any of the above, except the lip gloss which i applied after i got to school.

i need to go home and sleep.

Trick Or Treat

Last night Chris and I prepared for a good number of little trick or treaters. I have three words for you...

One Storm Trouper

We waited and waited all night long for ONE very cute storm trouper.
He was at the beginning of the evening too, or I would have given him half our bucket of candy.

Next year will be better...I hope.

Halloween might start with Hall, but it does not end in eluiah!

This morning I garbed myself in my best spy-wear. I had everything right down to the dark trench coat, ear piece, and dark hat. The kids were so pumped about their costumes. They were also pumped that I was a spy. They said, "wow... I knew that you would be a spy." (Because I have told them many times, if I was not a teacher, I would be a spy.)

We had the traditional Halloween Parade. The fifth grade classes led us out around the track, and the rest of the classes followed in line. After that the fifth grades looped around again to see every one's costume and then we all went inside. The entire thing took from 8:40 to 9:15. The pour little children had red cheeks and noses by the time they reached the end of their long parade. But, It was fun.

First grade was fun as well.

Fifth grade, my first class did awesome. Congratulations 5W you are my best fifth grade class as of late! 5V made up for the awesomeness of 5W right down to bodily harm and racial slurs. (sometimes children are truly evil. there is no other word to describe it.)

Third grade had the potential of being fun. They made it half way, and then slid back down the mountain of the anticipation of this evening's festivities.

It is only 12:30. I still have half of the day to go. I have a head ache to beat the band, and I have two 27 member 2nd grade classes coming up.

Our Father, Who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name...

Hallowhat?

This is a fitting picture for the festive season by which I am being harassed.





This is an actual conversation held in the office at my school building. The names have been changed to protect the individuals involved.

Secretary - “This is going to drive me crazy.”
Teacher’s aid - “What is going to drive you crazy?”
Secretary - “This E-mail notification.”
Teacher’s Aid - “What E-mail notification?”
Secretary - “Dina’s E-mail notification.”
Teacher’s Aid - “Dina’s E-mail notification?”
Secretary – “Yes Dina has an E-mail notification.”
Teacher’s Aid – “Dina has an E-mail notification?”
Secretary - “O My G#@, I am going to have a seizure just having this conversation with you!”
Yah… That is pretty typical for the office.

Halloween is effecting my life

Just because it is Halloween does not mean that my students have to act like Monsters. I am going to have to bring in the reigns this afternoon, or my Munster-family-like children will send me to an early grave, and I am not talking about the kind of grave that is used for decoration this time of year.

I am not going down to third grade to read with them. Instead I am sitting in the comfort of my classroom which is silent right now, and listening to the hum of the fans that keep my room cool.

Please Lord, let this day go fast!


This weekend in review:
Friday night: Japanese food in W with the ladies
Friday Bunk: My parents guest room
Saturday Morning: Hanging with the fam
Saturday Lunch: With the fam getting ready to look at an apartment for sister and husband
Saturday Afternoon: Renting apartment
Saturday Evening: Hanging with Chris
Sunday morning/afternoon: Church, Chris, Baking pie, Cleaning out my car
Sunday night: Sophomore sit down, and pie with friends.

Homecomming Part 2

Well,
Saturday dawned bright and early. I got up and got ready for the choir concert. Chris called me half an hour early to see if I was ready. The answer was, "Um, no. And don't come over either cause none of us are ready and half of us are still asleep." I got ready in plenty of time and was dazzled by the skills of the choir as well as the hand bell group and the brass ensemble. [ensemble is probably my favorite word because you can say it En-sem-bloo (oo- as in book)]

After choir I went to see the alumni soccer game, and not many people were there... correction, there was almost no one there, but I got to see Kylie and her new baby which made the entire journey well worth it.

We dedicated the Town houses at 11:15, and by this time I was starting to get hungry... grumpy hungry... honk the horn and yell I'm hungry hungry (See Previous Post). We went to the young alumni tale gate party, and we found out that it didn't start for another hour. So we wandered around, and I bought a large cookie from the snack bar, and then we went back to tale gate. Our food blew away in the gusty winds that whipped through the tent. We had chip races down the table. (Much to the dismay of the people sitting down wind from us)

The Ball game was fun. The weather was wonderful even though we lost. It was good to see people and hang out with parents on both sides of the datehood. I got asked/told about Eldon,

Guy - "I didn't know that this is your father in law."
Me - "He's not."
Guy - "He's not yet at least."
Me - "You never know."

My last statement may have concerned my supposed future father-in-law. Besides, people shouldn't assume things. Do you know why? Because it makes an ass out of u and me.

After the game we went to "Old Town" for German food. Man it was good. I maintain that their verenica are the best around.

We went to watch Honk, on very full stomachs. Stomachs that were so full they could have been cut open to end world hunger. (Now isn't that appetizing)

The show was wonderful. Elise and Kelli knocked my socks off. The entire cast was incredibly talented and the voices were wonderful. There were also some pretty funny appearances by some underclassmen men.

After the show we went over to some friends house and watched the beginning of Space Balls. I have never seen the movie, and I enjoyed the beginning more than I thought that i would. I don't know about the end, because I fell asleep, as did everyone else in the house. We woke up at 1:00ish and left to go to bed.

That is the end of Saturday. Sunday is too boring to mention so I will skip it when I write my next entry. If I would mention it it would go....

Chris had a headache... I drove home... He slept all day... I slept all night... The End!

Homecomming Part 1 (mostly for my own memory)

So,

Last weekend was homecoming weekend. I am so exhausted. I went to bed at 9:30 last night and slept hard till 6:00 this morning. The weekend was a wonderful whir of well wishes and Winnebago's. (alliteration is so in vogue)

On Friday, Chris and I wanted to get out of town as fast as we could. As soon as we were done with work, we took off into the wild blue yonder. About 10 minutes from home, I realized that I was famishingly hungry. I began to complain and moan my hunger, which turned into me yelling, "I'm Hungry!" and honking the horn about every five miles.... All the way to Walton.... For an hour.... Poor Chris....

We arrived at Gertie's house and her blessed mother fed me the nourishment that I had been longing for. My mood improved greatly! We hung out with friends and talked and laughed for a long time. It was good to hang out with her and hear all of her life's excitement and woes. She works for United Way, and when I say she works, I mean that the WORKS!

We all started yawning and yawning and falling asleep so we decided to head for the burro. I drove... I almost took three wrong turns between Gertie's house and the burro. (Not an easy thing to do, since there are only three turns on the way).

Once safely in the burro, I went to Myra house and hung out with girlie friends there and went to bed.

Stay tuned for the excitement of Saturday...

Please Pray

The school that I teach at lost a student last night. She was diagnosed with a brain stem cancer less than a year ago. She passed away yesterday. Pray for her family, a mother and a brother who is in fourth grade. Pray for our school counselor that she can be supportive and strong for those who need her help. Pray for her teacher last year as well as her teacher this year that they will get through this time of sadness and be able to take care of the kids in their classrooms.

A time to weep and a time to mourn.

It's official

Well,
It's official, My parents finally made the trek to Indiana, land of milk and honey, or at least "land of blueberries and sweet corn." Yes, I know, it took many months to get there, but they have finally left their lovely native state to journey far back to their childhood homes.

The only bad part of it is that I wanted to go to. It is a rough thing not being able to go somewhere when you want to. Man... If I made a list of all of the places that I want to go, but can't get to I would be old before the list was done and then I wouldn't have time to visit any of them.

Maybe I will stop wishing and start scraping and saving some money to get to some of those far off lands that are calling my name. It is time... it is definitely time for more stamps in my passport.

Flounder is not just a fish in the ocean

You know the saying, "D Nile is not just a river in Egypt." well, "Flounder is not just a fish in D ocean."

I feel like floundering is a common theme for me this year. At least I learn from my mistakes. For Instance:

My first class today was a mistake, the entire thing, completely.
I fixed the second class.

My third class was fine.
My fourth class was a technical error. The kids couldn't handle technical so they created errors.

My fifth class did an exceptional job. They were GREAT!
My sixth class was an interrupted mess. In the middle of class, we got an all call to go out to the playground and make a giant paw print and then take a picture. My class was one of the last to go, but we had to hear the all call for ALL of the other classes to be dismissed. Every time the voice came over the all call I prayed, "Dear Lord, Please Oh Please deliver me from these third graders and let me take them out to the paw print on the lawn." Now I am just praying, "Lord I will rejoice in suffering, but I rejoice better in ease..."

Not that school is all bad, but seriously, I have a feeling that this afternoon is not going to be the cakiest of walks.

who knows...maybe I will be wrong... but there are five xylophones sitting at the front of my classroom that say I am right.

WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT!!!

Warning, The grammar in this next post is atrocious, and I warn the picky reader not to continue.


I may make the aforementioned song the title for my year.

Man I about murdered some third and fifth graders this morning. Yes, the third and fifth grade classes which I have spoke so well about. Today a seasoned teacher told me that the fifth grade is only going to get worse as the year goes on.

Well I have news for the world, EITHER THEY GO OR I GO!!!

Which basically means, THAT AIN'T GONNA FLY IN MISS MUSIC'S CLASS!!!




In other news. Yesterday Chris and I went on an insanely long bike ride all over town. It would have been more pleasant if the wind hadn't been gusting at 600 miles an hour...(at least that's what it felt like.) I seriously could feel the wind resistance in my spokes. Yes, in my spokes - the thin metal wires that keep my wheels from collapsing. Those spokes. The spokes that are so thin that they have never heard the word resistance before. The spokes that laugh in the face of wind, because they are so thin that they should cut through the wind like a hot knife through soft butter. The spokes, that yesterday, almost sent me side-long into a passing car because the stupid KANSAS WIND WOULDN'T STOP GUSTING ME INTO THE UPCOMING TRAFFIC!!!

The best part of the bike ride was the fact that once we turned so that the wind was not, A. Headlong, or B. Side gusting, but C. at our backs, we coasted for probably a mile. Literally coasted with little to no peddling from Magnolia to Crawford. I have never coasted for that long...in my life...ever... and will not ever again! (because of the fight to the coasting)

I have a class coming, and I should probably get my new BOOM WHACKERS out. Yesssss!!! I got boom whackers. I will probably bemoan my love of boom whackers from now on, because that is why the fifth grade class stunk so much, so I completely scrapped my fourth grade lesson plan and re-wrote it. I hope it works!!! keep your fingers crossed.

What's the matter with kids these days

In the musical Bye Bye Birdie Kim's Father sings the song What's The Matter With Kids Today. Today I want to ask myself that question. Seriously, what is the matter with kids these days? Today especially. I have not given a good behavior report since my first three classes this morning. One fifth grader had the guts to tell me that it is because I am young and students think that they can take advantage of me. I came back with the statement:

"I didn't go to school for 23 years to get here and have you not respect me. I worked hard to be here, and you should work hard when I ask you to. I may be young, but that does not mean that I am less qualified to teach you than any other teacher in this building."

For the life of me, I could not remember how long I went to school...

17 years is not 23 years, especially since I am only 24

I didn't mean to fib. It was the first number that came to my head, and sounded logical to me when I was MAD in class. This was earth shattering for me, because I haven't gotten mad in class yet. TODAY I AM MAD



Kids!
I don't know what's wrong with these kids today!
Kids!
Who can understand anything they say!
Kids!
They a disobedient, disrespectful oafs!
Noisy, crazy, dirty, lazy, loafers!
While we're on the subject:
Kids!
You can talk and talk till your face is blue!
Kids!
But they still just do what they want to do!
Why can't they be like we were,
Perfect in every way?
What's the matter with kids today?
Kids!
I've tried to raise him the best I could
Kids! Kids!
Laughing, singing, dancing, grinning, morons!
And while we're on the subject!
Kids! They are just impossible to control!
Kids! With their awful clothes and their rock an' roll!
Why can't they dance like we did
What's wrong with Sammy Caine?
What's the matter with kids today!

I am not saying that every child I have taught today is a complete mess, and even some of the complete messes have redeeming qualities, but on the whole, as a group, they are a disaster. Maybe I see the disaster in them because I constantly see the disaster's in me. Perhaps I need to extend grace to both of my students and to myself. That's right... that's what I will do...


TOMORROW

Sing the Praises of the Lord: even when He sends you out to Canaan

Psalm 113
1 Praise the LORD. [a]
Praise, O servants of the LORD,
praise the name of the LORD.

2 Let the name of the LORD be praised,
both now and forevermore.

3 From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets,
the name of the LORD is to be praised.

4 The LORD is exalted over all the nations,
his glory above the heavens.

5 Who is like the LORD our God,
the One who sits enthroned on high,

6 who stoops down to look
on the heavens and the earth?

7 He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;

8 he seats them with princes,
with the princes of their people.

9 He settles the barren woman in her home
as a happy mother of children.
Praise the LORD.

I will praise the name of the Lord,
Even in the midst of the unknown,
Even in the midst of trials and tribulation,
Even in the midst of longing for the past,
Even in the midst of defeating the odds,
Even in the midst of understanding the future,
Even in the midst of admitting miscalculation,
Even in the midst of desiring answers,
Even in the midst of impatience with myself,
Even in the midst of LIFE

I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a child with it's mother is my soul within me.
Oh Israel, Trust in the Lord, From this time forth, and FOREVERMORE

The Buss, the trip, the elesticacity

Today is Body Walk Day. All of our kids get to go over to the high school and go through a model of the human body. This is the first time that some of these kindergartners have ever ridden the buss. I could tell that it was on their minds pretty much because it was coming out of their mouths. That and the fact that some of this town lost power last night made it hard to begin class. As soon as class started I was assailed by loud clamoring of

"Miss Music, We get to go on a trip!" (I Know)
"We get to go on a field trip!!!" (Yes, I know)
"We get to ride the buss all the way to the high school!" (Wow!)
"Miss Music, Did you know that the power went out yesterday." (old news buddy)
"Miss Music...um...we hadda wear socks for the trip of the body." (Good for you)
"Miss Music, Last night my dad said... my dad said... dad... the lect..ele...ctric...elesticacity was broken." (I hope my elesticacity never gets broken.)

So after class when it was time to line up I said, "Ok kindergartners, time to quietly line up."

I was answered with, "Yah cause if we don't hurry we're gonna miss the buss!"
(This happened at 9:05 am, and the kindergartners were not supposed to load until 9:45. I am guessing that it was a long morning.)

I was also informed that one responsible kindergarten citizen offered their kind buss driver money for buss fare this morning. Oh the joys of being little.

Stick in the mudd no more

Sorry that I have been such a stick in the mud. The honest answer to why my posting has been infrequent and low quality is this: being a first year teacher is the hardest thing that I have ever done.

It stretches me to think, problem solve, teach, research, learn, inspire, guide, and all other noble things that teachers do. It also stretches me to stay calm, not stress, stay positive, and even get out of bed in the morning.

I finally feel like I am getting over my cold/sinus infection, so I am ready to post.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I had the fifth graders present the projects that they have been working on for a week or so. It was the simple task of coming up with a rhythm accompaniment to a song that we have been learning. After they performed their presentation, I asked the groups questions like: "How did you come up with what you wanted to do? How did you come up with your group name? Were their any natural leaders in your group? Did you feel like the entire group participated?"

One bold and somewhat cheeky student answered the last question in the frankest way possible.

"Well Miss Music, Here's what happened. First K got bossy, and then I got bossy, and then we both got bossy, and then I got mad and quit, and then I got in trouble with you, and then I decided to let K be bossy, and then I just did what she said to do."

All in one breath, all in an impartial definitive vocal tone, which caused the entire class (including me) to erupt with laughter.

"Well," I said "At least he is honest."

The other great thing that happened yesterday was right at the end of the day. I was in the hallway when two of the most upstanding fourth grade boys came down the hall. They were carrying something small cupped in both of their hands. One boy had his hand as the base and the other had his hand as the lid. They were equally sharing the task of transporting this unknown object outside. As they walked by they said,

"By Miss Music, We have to take Chester outside."

"Who is Chester?" I asked.

"Well," they rebounded "We are reading a book about Chester the Cricket in our class and all of the sudden this big cricket shows up in our classroom."

"Can I see him?" I asked, and immediately they produced one of the largest crickets I have ever seen. "Wow, He is huge!" I exclaimed as the cricket realized that he was no longer the captive of his keepers.

The sly cricket began to inch his way up the boy's arm. As soon as my fourth grader realized this cricket's intent, he began to whimper. I thought that he would be ok, because he was holding the darn thing in the first place, but instead of hold his ground the whimper became a cry, the cry became a yell, the yell became a moaning, screaming, yelling, fourth grade boy. They both ran off outside to be rid of Chester the Cricket.

Ah Chester... You made my day

sick

being sick takes all of the fun out of posting...

maybe I will post soon...

maybe not.



Oh Yah, and Hurray for Kylie and Ryan and new little bundle of joy!!!

more to come

I am still thinking, I am trying to perfect a kindergarten post, but I hit a creative wall. I think I need to blow some bubbles or fingerpaint. Something that is fun, without being too constructive.

I also need to get back to work.

Dad's birthday

So, I should have posted this yesterday, but I didn't have a chance, because I was effectively going crazy all day long. Yes, It was an all day thing, and yes it was crazy. I have my yearly end of the summer cold, and it is hitting on me like a bat on a ball.

Ode to my father:

Dear old dad
What good times we've had
You're up in your years,
But don't let that cause fears.
For age makes you wise
and gives wrinkles round the eyes.
Wrinkles made by smiles
That you and I've shared for miles and miles.

Much love,
Much joy,
Much peace,
Much patience,
Much kindness,
Much goodness,
Much self control.

Your darling daughter,
Jen

A cheesy poem is all I really need to show you how I feel.

Stare down at the KF choral in (kinder) GARTEN town

Genera: Western

Setting: A Flourishing Boom Town on the Frontier

Characters:
Ban the Man,
The Innocent Garteners (Citizens of Garten town),
and Sheriff Music.

Imagine a bright and sunny day in (kinder)Garten town. All of the little tykes are behaving like good citizens in the booming town of Garten. The KF Choral has only been in existence for four weeks now, but all of it's (kinder)Garten citizens are walking, talking, listening and learning just like they should.

All of the sudden a shadow falls over the sun. The silhouette of a lone kindergartner dressed all in black with a black cow boy hat and a red bandanna has stepped between me, Sherif Music, and the light from the sun's radiating path of knowledge. It's Ban the Man. A slight breeze blows a tumble weed across the classroom er... Choral. A kindergartner has broken not one rule but three as the camera angel zeroes in on his slightly taller than his peers frame. His eyes slowly move from looking down angrily at the ground to meet mine as I call his name.

(Whistle the theme from every western stand off ever made, It will bring a better effect to the post) (doo Doo doo Doo doooooo, wah, Wha, wha, doo Doo doo Doo doooooo, wah, Wha, WAH!!!) (rattle snake tail...rattle...rattle...)

We stare at each other, our eyes narrow. I place my hand to my belt loop hoping for my golden lasso, but to no avail all that I find is the remote to the CD player.

"You've got two choices mister. Either you behave like a gud citizen, or I'll set you down in the pokey (time out chair) for the remainder of class"

No one made a sound. The tension in the air was so high you could have powered the whole of Garten town for a year on that one little moment. The stare down was on.

Seconds ticked by, and then Ban the Man flinched. It seems that he knew that I mean business, and he grudgingly turned toward the next activity.

Hopefully you won't have to stay tuned for more adventures of Sherif Music and Ban The Man

I'll Eat My Hat

Wasn't Labor Day weekend wonderful. I have a seriously large appreciation for the long weekend that I just had. I think that people who do not get to have labor day weekend should be paid double for their efforts, because really, EVERYONE should have a labor day.

So, as part of labor day weekend, Chris and I traveled back to the burro to help with music in church. We felt so at home back at our church, that it was almost too good for us. It reminded us of how much we miss the burro and the people who we. We even missed the goofy parts of church like the Hour long announcements, the awkward moments created by the children's story, and that one person who sings loudly off key. (come on now, Every church has one.) This Sunday the hour long announcements were welcomed by our ears, the awkward moments in the children's story were hilarious, and the one person who sings loudly off key was oddly comforting.

And now I have to eat my hat for missing the burro. The little town that rolls up the sidewalks at 5:00 on main street and 8:00 at the grocery store has gotten under my skin.

I keep having to remind myself that I will begin to feel at home here up north. I like my job, even though it is hard, and I like the people whom I have met. Change is a process, and I have to learn how to go through the process.

My one good Kid story of today. I was asking my kids what George Gershwin was, and I was pointing at the word Pianist on the bulletin board. I made the P sound and one first grade child earnestly raised her hand and said. "George Gershwin was a Poser?" "no" I said, "He was a pianist and a composer" Poor George, He couldn't even defend himself.

The Legend of Chuck

Chuck, What a strange name to linger on as a legend. I know some pretty cool Chucks though from my past lives (AKA my childhood and high school years, so it is isn't that surprising to again be presented with a pretty cool Chuck. The problem with this is that presentation of Chuck has not been fully revealed to me.

Chuck was a teacher here at my school for many many many many years. One of the teachers here said that she taught with Chuck for more than 15 years, and Chuck was around before she was. Chuck taught fourth and fifth grade, and his legend lives on.

The teacher's lounge here at school is affectionately called Chuck's lounge, because Chuck spent so much of his "extra time" there. E-mails go out that say, "birthdays are posted on the fridge in Chuck's Lounge." I feel cheated because I have not met this glorious Chuck, and I fear I never will.

Chuck lives right close to the school, so some times they announce things to him. (Our P.A. system is heard clearly even if you are about a block away from the school.) Teachers meetings begin with, "All teacher's please come to the library for staff meeting. Chuck, you can come on over if you would like."

I have even seen this legendary Chuck in the hallway. He passed me by one day while stating that he was here to eat lunch with his 15+ year teaching partner, but I didn't have the guts to say, "Wow, you are the legendary Chuck...I expected you to be taller."

It just goes to show how one person can make an impact on so many people. Even on people like me who have never met Chuck, and even on people driving by the school at 7:30am with their windows down.

My school days roll with the weather, My Rollerblades don't roll at all

This morning I had someone ask me how my days went. I started to think about it, and my school days literally roll with the weather.

If you have ever been in the kid business, you will know that Kids are like little barometers - their moods change with the shape of the atmosphere. If a front rolls through, and doesn't matter what kind of front, the kids change their behavior in a somewhat Jekyll and Hyde way. For example yesterday was a cloudy and stormy Wednesday. The children who I teach on this morning of the week have a pretty good track record, and the students who I teach in the afternoon are known for giving me small ulcers. Well yesterday, I hung up my hat after my morning classes went poorly. (Ha, who am I kidding, they were full of threats of no behavior note, and missed recess time.) Yet, the afternoon classes all got their behavior notes. (A reward that the students get for good behavior and class participation.)

Today the weather is nice and bright. After I post I am going to check up on the front forecast to see if I will have to plan any back up lessons.

NEXT STORY

A couple of nights ago, Chris and I got inspired to go rollerblading. Both of us had loved it in our youth. Chris even used to go to a park in W and Rollerblade a lot. Well, we both got our skates and headed for the park. After we parked the car and pulled on our stellar (child of the 90's) skates, we set off. I will admit that I was a little perturbed that Chris was better than me, and seemingly more in shape. If you don't know, I have been exercising more than I ever have in my entire life as of late. I have been running, jogging, elliptical, biking, and walking a lot. I didn't get why I was the one breathing hard and trying to keep up.

I deduced, My Skates Don't Work!

I complained to Christopher...

"These skates don't work! They Stink! This is hard! SLOW DOWN! No, I do not know how to put all of my weight on one blade and push off with the other one! SHUT UP!!!"

I was not kind... I was um... a brat.

So Finally, after pushing me for a while, Chris conceded that the barrings in my wheels were shot. I finally agreed with him on something.

I decided to persevere for just a little while longer, when I looked down and saw that the front wheel on my right skate had CRACKED DOWN THE CENTER AND WAS FALLING AWAY IN CHUNKS!!!

To end a long and painful story, I ran while he bladed. Then I huffed back to his apartment where we both drank a gallon of water, and then I went home to bed.

Like I said, My school days roll with the weather, My Rollerblades will NEVER ROLL AGAIN!

MISS MUSIC ABANDONS SHIP / KINDERGARTEN BOREDOM

I can earnestly say that I have abandoned ship.

I have recently been trying to figure out the inner-workings of the average kindergarten student's mind. Let me tell you, It has been no picnic.

I knew that kindergartners could get bored, but I never knew that they had their own language of communicating this boredom.

The first surprising sign of boredom is the "Scab Pick." This strong cry of self mutalation surprised me as a sign of simple boredom, but even more surprising is the fact that this symptom or sign can follow a child until he or she reaches third and in some extreme cases even fourth grade. As evidence to this symptom, I offer the fact that I have been through 15 band aids in the first two weeks of school in the primary grades alone. (Kindergarten-Second)

The second symptom of boredom is the "Excuse Me" accompanied by the ever wiggling raised hand. This is the "Excuse Me" that begins with "One Time + a sibling = blood, guts, and pain." It ends with me saying, "That was not a question, that was a statement. A question would be you asking me something, and not telling me a story."

The third sign of kindergarten boredom is the worried hand to the mouth accompanied by an "I'm going to be sick face." I have affectionately named this one the "I'm gonna frow up, or the I frew up." Now this one can not be taken lightly. This needs to be met with a bio hazard bucket, which will be spit in, and taken to the bio hazard dump (aka the maintenance room).

(perfectly good waste of a bio hazard bag)

The first three symptoms of boredom are quick recovery symptoms. They can be dealt with and brushed away. The next two are worse to deal with because they could sink your ship and cause you to abandon your lesson.

The fourth and ever threatening sign of boredom has a lot to do with the third, but this demonstrates the true power of suggestion. When a child claims the: "I don't feel good" what they really mean is: "you are not interesting enough for me to pretend to be interested, so instead I will pretend to be sick so that I can sit and watch you try to entertain the rest of these suckers." If this statement is allowed to sink into the rest of the minds in the classroom, you will immediately deal with 35% to 45% of your students who have the "I don't feel goods," or the "I feel sicks." AKA ABANDON SHIP!!!

The fifth and final symptom of kindergarten boredom is the most deathly to a well planned lesson. I call it the "Miss Music? I have to go to the bafroom." I have just two words for you, GAME OVER! That's it, Pack up your bag O' tricks and go home!

So that's what I did, I packed up my bag of tricks, but I didn't go home. Instead of going home, I went back to the tricks that I knew would work.

We can sing eight variations of Head and Shoulders Knees and Toes till the cows come home as long as I never have to hear, "Miss Music, I have to go to the bafroom!"

Why can't I sew a circle to a square and have it come out right?

Last night I was AGAIN stuffing and sewing pillows for Christopher's new place. This wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't had the brilliant idea of making cylindrical pillows for the chairs. "Come on," I said, "They will look so cool!"

Well, they didn't start off bad. One seam and I had a cylinder. Next I took a circle. I pinned, I sewed, I ripped, I pinned, I sewed, I ripped. I pinned, I substitute cursed*, I ripped. Finally I came up with a plan. "sew the dumb thing on and fix it once it is connected." This was not the best idea in the world, but in the end it turned out OK.

The point being, If you are ever in the vicinity of Chris' living room and happen to see a couple of lumpy dumpy cylendars... do not complain to me... I fought the cloth and the cloth won.


*A substitute curse is a word that makes no sense. I throw this word into my vocabulary instead of a real curse word. Most of these words sound like the German word for Eating House. (don't ask why)

87 million new passwords

So,
As a part of being a teacher, I have to know a lot of passwords. My network log-in and password, my e-mail log-in and password, my grade book log-in and password, my phone log-in and yes... password, as well as many others that I can't remember right now. I started thinking about this Log-in and password system. It is great in theory, but the fact that some of the log-in and passwords change every 75 days, and others change every 45 days is beginning to seem daunting. That plus the rule that your new log-in and password must not be the same or similar as the last 12 passwords that I have chosen. In some cases that means that I can not use any of the same Log-in and passwords for the next three years.

For some people, this would be no problem. Yet, I am not some people. In fact, I am not most people. I have had the same or similar log-in and password for the past 5 years, and I am a creature of Habit. When 75 days roll around, I fear that I will freeze up and go into something similar to diabetic shock. Why oh why can't this system be like the system in the burro. One log-in, One password, Every year the same. I am ceremoniously sticking my tongue out at my cruddy compy. (PC for you techies out there)

Random Thought: If you really want to throw someone off in a durring a task that should be mindless and uneducational, Press the Spanish button in the self check out at the grocery store for them. It is amazing how much more we have to stop and think about what we should do next.

Week one down, Week two in progress

Well,
I am successfully done with my first week of being a real teacher. It is an unusual experience to have a classroom and get to do whatever one wants (within reason). I am learning a lot about the developmental abilities of elementary students. Just when I think I might have second grade figured out, they pull a fast one on me and I am back at square one. All that I have to say is that the only lesson that I think went amazingly wonderful with my second graders involved me singing and dancing to a song called Zudio for about an hour. I did not go to the YMCA that day. I already had cardio jumping around with those kids.

I also have made a wonderful discovery about the wonders of exercise. Just when you think that you have given it your all, you should try pushing yourself physically to the next level. It will do wonders for your relaxation ability. (burning 400-500 calories doesn't hurt either). I have already told Amy that I am going to become a Y rat, and I am well on my way. The only draw back to the y rat-ness is the fact that there are other more fit and physically gorgeous Y rats who make me feel like a Y possum rather than a Y rat. My goal is to become a Y prairie dog. That way I won't feel so intimidating or as intimidated as a true Y rat.

(if you understood the last paragraph, you need mental assistance.)

Another new event in my life is the fact that Chris finally has a job in the same town as me. It is a wonderful feeling that he is just minutes away working hard at a new thing just like I am. Yesterday we tackled getting him settled in his new little duplex. I am not kidding when I said it was little. It works Great for him, but the closet system in the place leaves something to be desired. Thank goodness that there is a wonderful second hand furniture shop in which he bought a beautiful cedar lined wardrobe for less bucks than big bucks. Tonight after group conferences we will probably again tackle getting him settled, and hopefully the fiber fill from stuffing chair cushions will someday dislodge itself from every crevice of my living room floor.

Well, I fear that I have rambled on long enough. I guess that this is enough information for you to sink your teeth into for a while. If you want to know what I did on the weekend, the answer is simple: I did what I have done every weekend since I moved north.

Spent Friday night at my parents house. Saw my friend Sabrah from CA. Talked in my sleep to my sister, which included saying "boom" when she dropped her boot while putting it away, as well as telling her "make sure you put the books on the shelf, like the doctor did." Spent Saturday with Justin and Elise, Spent Saturday night at Rachel's, Spent Sunday in the burro, and came back north on Sunday afternoon.

Off to great adventure and molding young minds!

Lots back to being gone!!!

57 hours

Last week I worked 57 hours in my classroom. I am still tired.

Anyway...

The kids come tomorrow. I am nervous. I am in Mac town with my family for my mother's birthday. I don't want to go back up north to work because of my nerves. Da' Gum...

I know that once I start, It will be better, but man... If it doesn't start I might run scared.

Here are some interesting facts about starting my job.
1. I will be on evaluation for the next three years.
2. It will take three years to become a tenured teacher.
3. It will take two years to get my complete teaching certification.
4. It will take me a lifetime of teaching to actually reach the best I will ever be, and then I will retire because the life of a teacher is constant improvement.
5. Changing school districts is a pain in the butt.


Although these things sound discouraging, It is all part of the great governmental plot to try to inspire teachers to be lifetime learners. I believe that they have some of their screws loose.

New Things

I have not posted in a while. I will attribute that to the exceedingly long days I have been working in preparation for the school year. Yesterday in fact I worked a 13 and 1/2 hour day. Yes, From 7:00 am to 8:00pm I was either in meetings or working to get my classroom in order. Which is why I am not going to let this post linger on.

All that I have to say about being a new teacher so far is that getting used to a new school system is a bigger job than I thought that it would be. I also miss Sharon and Patti over at the burro M.S.

This afternoon calls for a Pride and Prejudice sound track and a cup of iced tea. Too bad I only get one of those things.

Well, I am going to plan some seriously awesome first week of school lessons. Ta ta for now.